This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from advice on financial planning to anniversary vacations. Seniors for Living contributes its properties to Boomerater’s Alzheimer’s Care directory.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members discuss the responsibilities of being the executor of an estate.

Question: My parents have asked me to be the executor of their estate.  I’m honored that they trust me with this, but I don’t know what’s involved.  I don’t think their estate is very complicated, but I have no idea how much time or effort it could take. Any advice? By the way, I visit them often but do not live near them.

Reply #1: I can offer some insight from my own experience as executor of my parents’ estate…

1. Get duplicate copies of death certificates – you’ll need them to close accounts.
2. Know where everything is kept, not just where they bank, but where the keys for the safe deposit box are, etc. My parents had a weird “secret hiding place” where they kept my grandmother’s jewelry – fortunately I knew about that, but I never could find the keys to the car.
3. All costs have to be paid before you can settle the estate. This includes rent or mortgage, credit cards, property taxes, medical bills, etc.

Reply #2: Early responsibilities of the executor include identifying the assets and liabilities.  This in itself can be complicated.  Costs associated with an illness, tax issues and any business relationship the decedent had all have to be taken into account.  To handle the legal, financial and tax issues I suggest you find competent financial advisors with experience in each of the areas.  A good executor works with the advisors to oversee the process and makes the final decisions.

Reply #3: The best situation is when the decedent has made his/her wishes known and documented… who gets what, where all the documents are, etc.  My aunt and uncle, who never had children, willed some personal items to individuals, then divided the rest of the estate into “lots.” Each heir (mostly nieces and nephews) drew one lot and received all of the items associated with that lot.  The lots were of similar value, so everyone was treated equally. The more effort your parents put into organizing their estate and documenting their wishes, the easier your job as executor will be.

Find out what others had to say about being the executor of an estate on Boomerater.com.

This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from wealth planners to romantic getaways. Seniors for Living contributes its properties to Boomerater’s assisted living directory.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members share their advice about adding a stair lift.

Question: My mother is coming to live with us, but the only bedroom we have for her is on the second floor of our two-floor home. We are considering adding a stair lift. Any words of advice?

Reply #1: Installing a stair lift was a big help for us. When my father came to live with us, we actually thought about adding a first-floor bedroom to the house. When we learned how expensive that option would be we looked into adding a stair lift. We decided on the Harmar Pinnacle. It was a great decision. Dad had no trouble operating it, and it took up less space in the stairway than we had anticipated.

Reply #2: Hire a CAPS-certified contractor to review your home for accessibility; they have great ideas and can look at your home with a critical eye for safety. You may need to modify doorways for a wheelchair for the future, and a main floor bathroom. The most important thing to remember when modifying for a lift is that you need a good fire escape route. If the power is out, how will you get your mother safely out the door? You can have the house wiring modified to have an always-on generator that backs up your primary system.

These are things that your CAPS certified contractor is trained to review your home for. Every home is different, and that’s their specialty — making homes safe and prepared for people to age in place adapting homes to the changing needs of family members utilizing principals of universal design.

Reply #3: I would advise also thinking about preparing an accessible bathroom and a zero step entrance into the home, because it sounds like she’s declining and she could use the extra attention to safety!

Add your own comments or find out what others had to say about adding a stair lift on Boomerater.com.

This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from investment advisors to vacation packages. Seniors for Living contributes its properties to Boomerater’s independent living directory.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members share their experiences about trading or selling gift cards, paying for grandchildren’s college, and selling a time share.

Question #1: I want to sell my time share in Florida, but am afraid I won’t make my money back. What is the best way to sell a time share?

Answer #1:
You’ll probably only get about half of what you paid. But if you used it for several vacations, you can look at the time you spent there as time you would have paid to stay at resort hotels. You might have luck selling it through the Time Share Users’ Group website.

Question #2: While I love receiving gift cards to purchase items I want or need, each year I receive cards for stores I don’t patronize.  Does anyone know of an outlet for trading gift cards with others who find themselves in the same situation?

Answer:
You can sell or trade your gift cards on http://www.plasticjungle.com . You can sell cards at http://www.giftcardsagain.com and at http://www.giftah.com. Also, you can trade gift items, video games, books and textbooks, gift cards, electronics, etc. at http://www.caretotrade.com.

Question #3: I’ve heard there are some expenses you can pay directly for a family member without being subject to paying a gift tax. I am especially interested in tuition for my children and medical expenses for my parents.

Answer:
You can pay for college tuition as long as you pay the bills directly to the college and medical bills paid to the doctor or hospital are also OK.  Some expenses are not allowed. For example, if you pay for your grandson’s music lessons or help pay to have an addition built on your daughter’s home, the amount you contribute will be subject to the gift tax.

Add your own comments, or find out what others have to say at Boomerater.com.

This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from financial planners to vacation packages. Seniors for Living contributes its properties to Boomerater’s retirement living directory.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members share their experiences about caring for a relative with dementia.

Question:
My father, who lives with us, was just recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. We don’t know how to plan for his care or what we can expect as his condition worsens. We have heard horror stories from friends who have had relatives with this devastating disease. Where do we start?

Reply #1 fromMichelle Seitzer, SFL blogger:
Receiving a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or a related dementia for your loved one can be devastating. The second biggest challenge? Adapting your home to best care for the needs of your loved one overwhelms many caregivers after leaving the doctor’s office.

Here’s the good news: there is a wealth of information and resources out there that are easily accessible. That being said, what you need to remember above all is that flexibility is the key to success. No matter how many books you read or checklists you follow, your loved one’s care needs will change, or his needs might be so unique that you must create alternative solutions other than those suggested. Buying an expensive, high tech gadget to assist your loved one with daily tasks may not always be the best option — in fact, the gadget itself could present more hazard than help. Alzheimer’s does not fit in a box, so any resources you consult may have to be adapted to fit your care recipient’s unique situation.

Caregivers must begin to look at the home in a brand new light. What hazards exist that could be easily removed? What environmental features should be brought in to foster independence while maintaining safety? And, perhaps the most complicated question is, simply, where does one begin?

An understanding of the changes that can affect the person with dementia is helpful to provide a firm foundation. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, there are five key changes that will occur throughout the disease process:

• Judgment: forgetting how to use household appliances, etc.
• Sense of time and place: getting lost on one’s own street; being unable to recognize or find areas in the home
• Behavior: the care recipient will become easily confused, suspicious or fearful
• Physical ability: the person with dementia may have trouble with balance; depending upon a walker or wheelchair to get around
• Senses: changes in vision, hearing, sensitivity to temperatures or depth perception

Clearly, these changes underscore the importance of flexibility. Some persons with dementia may experience all of these changes at once, others may never have a change in behavior, but may have a drastic drop in physical ability. Some may only experience moderate changes in these areas but these changes may occur over a longer period of time. There is no timeline for these transformations, making the challenge of adapting the home all the more difficult.

Before diving in to the seemingly endless stack of literature or ordering a plethora of items from suppliers of creative home aids like The Alzheimer’s Store, caregivers must recognize the crucial need for respite. If the caregiver is not aware of his own needs or pushes those needs aside, both the caregiver and the care recipient will be at risk. Caregiver burnout is often unseen, but it is all too common. It won’t matter how many non-skid rugs are placed or how many door alarms are installed if the caregiver is not able to meet the care recipient’s needs. In many cases, the caregiver may have health needs of her own and could also benefit from a safer, more streamlined environment.

Keep a positive outlook as you adjust your home. Remember, it is still your castle, but making certain adjustments for the care recipient may even make the lives of other household members easier, too. Involve all members of the family in this process. Children, grandchildren, or other inhabitants may offer valuable insights that might otherwise go unnoticed. It will also ensure that when their help is needed (and it certainly will be needed), all household members have been included in the decision-making process and are part of the action plan.

Reply #2:

With the economy the way it is, more families are caring for Alzheimer stricken loved ones at home. With the monthly cost for an Alzheimer facility running $5,000 to $10,000 each month, there often is no other option. Now is the time to develop a plan for his care while he can still participate. Things to consider:

• Financial aspects: Get all his financial and legal documents together, including: his will, medical and durable powers of attorney, deeds, mortgage papers, bank accounts, pension and other retirement documents, life insurance and health insurance policies, social security info, stock and bond certificates and any documentation about his monthly and outstanding bills.
• Resources to tap: Even though the costs can be high, there are several resources you can turn to including Medicare, disability insurance, long-term care insurance, life insurance, Social Security Disability Income, Supplemental Security Income and Medicaid. The Alzheimer’s Association website alz.org discusses these different financial resources, as well as just about everything else you need to know as a caregiver for a patient with Alzheimer’s.
• Tax Deductions: This site also lists a number of deductions caregivers take for medical/nursing care, transportation, home modifications, etc.

Add your comments or find out what others had to say about caring for a relative with Alzheimer’s on Boomerater.com.

This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from wealth advisors to relocation ideas. Seniors for Living contributes its properties to Boomerater’s senior living directory.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members share their advice for the recently widowed.

Question: My dear husband recently passed away. For 40 years, he handled our finances and I’m lost without him.  I want to make sure our savings last so that I have financial security. My husband was a wonderful handyman who could fix anything, and he did most of the yard work. I am considering selling the house and moving to a retirement community. Also, I work full time, but am thinking of retiring or changing to a less demanding job.  There are so many decisions to make, where do I start?

Reply #1:
I’m sorry for your loss. It may seem impossible to consider a normal future right now, but you will be amazed at how much strength you have. Please do not make any too many changes right away. Learn what you can about your finances and keep the bills up to date. But don’t rush into major life changes like retiring or moving. A great place to start to put things in perspective is www.wiserwomen.org. This site is run by the Women’s Institute for a Secure Retirement. They have a retirement calculator to help you know how much you will need to live, resources for estate and retirement planning, details about types of survivor benefits and social security, pensions, etc. Another good site is www.wife.org, a non-profit that focuses on women’s financial independence. Just having a place to start was a big help for me when my husband died.

Reply #2:
Beware of scams! Shortly after my dad died, my mother was the target of a terrible scam by a con artist that preyed on widows. He called her, identifying himself as on officer of the court, and told her she had missed her assigned jury duty. When she said she didn’t know anything about it, he treated her horribly, saying she was obviously trying to get out of her civic duty. When she became upset, he told her he would try to have the warrant for her arrest cancelled but would need her full legal name, date of birth and social security number. She gave it to him and now is a victim of identity theft. What a mess! Don’t take advice or give money to anyone.

Reply #3:
Count on your family to care for your emotions, not your finances. It is a big mistake to let your kids take over your finances. My sister turned all financial decisions over to her son, who had no expertise. He made unwise investments and she also ended up paying more in taxes than she would have with a qualified financial adviser. If you don’t have one, ask your lawyer or accountant for a recommendation of someone they know is an expert in life planning. The goal is to maximize your income while minimizing your taxes. Also you want to be sure your assets are protected and you may want to plan how you want your estate handled. Also, if you do decide to make a change, like selling your house, they can offer valuable advice and connect you with a network of other qualified professionals.

Find out what others had to say, or offer your own help for recent widows on Boomerater.com.

This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from financial advisors to trip ideas. Seniors for Living contributes its properties to Boomerater’s senior housing directory.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members share their experiences with Macular Degeneration, the number one cause of age-related blindness.

Question: I was just diagnosed with Macular Degeneration and I’m freaking out. Anyone have experience with this disease? Are there any treatments that work? I’ve never had a problem with my eyes and this came from out of the blue.

Reply #1:
I have macular degeneration (md) in both eyes. The Amsler grid is used to determine if you have md. When I look at the grid with just my right eye all of the lines of the grid seem straight and clear. With my left eye the lines are wavy and distorted. My ophthalmologist diagnosed macular degeneration and sent me to a retina specialist. My mother and both of her siblings had md so I was genetically predisposed to get it. The retina specialist took pictures of my macula, the central part of the retina that provides for sharp, clear vision. The pictures showed I had “dry” md in my right eye, and “wet” in my left. Wet is the worse of the two. Both eyes have “drusens” which are yellow deposits under the retina. These are early signs of md but they alone don’t cause severe vision loss. My center of my left retina has a protuberance that is distorting my vision.

Every six weeks I have Lucentis injections in the white part of my left eye. Sounds like it would hurt, but it really doesn’t. They numb the eye before the injection. After the injection I use antibiotic drops for 3 days to protect against infection. At each visit he takes more pictures to check for change in my left eye. Unfortunately there’s been no improvement, but it hasn’t gotten worse, so maybe injections have held off progression of the disease. The injections are very costly, so make sure your insurance company agrees to pay before you take them. I also take “AREDS” which is a vitamin complex very rich in eye nutrients. And I take lutein, long considered helpful for eye health. My new glasses include a prism in my left lens that has helped a lot for my distant vision. My reading glasses don’t help much, I actually read better with my left eye closed.

Reply #2:
It’s important that anyone diagnosed with macular degeneration check their eyes with the Amsler grid daily and report any changes to the eye doctor. You can download a copy at http://www.allaboutvision.com/conditions/amsler-grid.htm. This site also has the latest news articles on the disease. By the way, smokers are 2.5 times more likely to get macular degeneration – one more reason to kick the habit.

Reply #3:
I also have Macular Degeneration. As people live longer, experts expect it to become America’s #1 cause of age-related vision loss to become even more prevalent. I read a Times on-line article entitled “Blind to be cured with stem cells” that gave me lots of hope. In London they have been experimenting with laboratory trials on animals, replacing degenerated cells with new ones created from embryonic stem cells. The trials have been successful. While the therapy may not be available for 6 or 7 years, it is encouraging that Pfizer, the world’s largest pharmaceutical research company, will produce the artificial membranes on which the embryonic stem cells are placed. Also it appears the treatment may take less than an hour as an outpatient procedure. Read the article at http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/health/article6122757.ece

Add your comment or find out what others had to say about age-related Macular Degeneration on Boomerater.com.

This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from a Chicago financial advisor to family vacations. Seniors for Living contributes its senior housing properties to Boomerater’s local directories including Minnesota Alzheimer’s Care, Missouri assisted living, and more.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members share their solutions for insomnia.

Question: Does anyone have a good suggestion for help falling asleep besides Ambien?  I’ve also tried warm milk and honey — not bad. Any other ideas?

Reply #1: This has worked for me… a form a self-hypnosis. Get comfortable. Relax your body. Consciously check each muscle group and make sure you really are relaxed (sometimes we’re kind of tense without realizing it). Now, focus on your toes and imagine that they’re starting to get warm. Keep thinking about your toes getting warm until you can “feel” them get warmer. Then imagine that warm feeling gradually expanding to the rest of both feet. When you “feel” both feet are warm, imagine that warm feeling slowing moving up your legs, toward your knees.

Follow this process, with the warm feeling that started in your toes slowly moving up the rest of your body. Don’t let anything distract you.  You’ll be asleep before the warm feeling gets up to your belly button!

Reply #2: I was having a tough time getting to sleep and sleeping through the night. Starting a regular exercise routine has helped me a lot. I run on the treadmill (or outside if the weather is OK), and work out with light weights. I exercise early in the day; if I do it at night I find I’m too geared up to fall asleep. What you eat and drink can also affect your sleep, as can the environment (too hot, too cold, too noisy, too bright). For good info on all of sleep tips and the pros and cons of sleep medications, check out helpguide.org/life/sleep_tips.htm.

Find out what others had to say or add your own sleep solutions on Boomerater.com.

This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers providing information on everything from reverse mortgages to tips to maximize your social security benefits. Seniors for Living contributes its senior housing properties to Boomerater’s local directories including Maryland Alzheimer’s Care, Michigan assisted living, and more.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members share their tips for getting senior discounts.

Question: I’m looking for websites that identify stores and restaurants that offer discounts to boomers in their late 50s.

Reply # 1: There are lots of sites that can link you to senior discount sites. One of the simplest is About.com’s “Frugal Living” site, http://frugalliving.about.com/od/frugalseniors/a/Senior_Discount.htm. It has an alphabetical listing of national companies that offer senior discounts. Another one I just discovered is seniordiscounts.com. They have a free weekly newsletter with member-submitted discounts. I was surprised by some of the companies that offer discounts to the 55+ crowd. They also have a premium service that lets you search for discounters in your area.

Reply # 2: There’s a list of websites at the bottom of this article: http://www.ehow.com/how_4669376_senior-discounts-save-money.html. This is a very good article submitted by a member of the ehow.com website. It gives tips that include who qualifies as a senior, identifying companies that offer discounts (but may not advertise that they do.) Also it talks about the value of speaking with the groups you belong to for discounts they may support. For example AARP has partnered with hundreds of different companies to offer discounts. Links are given for AARP, SeniorJournal.com, The Seasoned Spender, Bargains4Seniors.com, Eldercare Federal Resources, Senior Pass – US Parks, Rite Aid Pharmacy Living More Program, Hyatt Hotels Senior Discounts, and KB Toys Grandparents Club.

Find out what others had to say about senior discounts on Boomerater.com.

This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from an investment advisor to low-cost entertainment ideas. Seniors for Living contributes its senior housing properties to Boomerater’s local directories including Washington assisted living facilities, Virginia Alzheimer’s care, and more.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members share their experiences about online photo sites.

Question:

I want to make a personalized photo album for my granddaughter’s 1st birthday. I’ve been saving digital pictures of all her first year milestones. If I do an on-line version I’ll be able to add to it as she grows up. I’ve looked into several sites but haven’t found one I really like that’s easy to use.   Any ideas?

Reply #1 – I just discovered http://www.tabblo.com/studio…. I upload and edit my photos and can add captions. I used it to make a wedding album for my niece and she and her husband loved it… You can share photo pages, print out copies or even order a print or book.

Reply #2 – I used flickr.com before and I have to say, I found it very cumbersome to manage. It offers unlimited storage for a fee (which is nice) but it’s really hard to organize. I will be interested in seeing what other sites people use as well.

Reply #3 – A great place for help in shooting and processing photos and videos and making scrapbooks is http://www.endlessyears.com/ This site is specifically designed for boomers, answerng technical questions in the simplest way & it has tutorials on a lot of diferent topics.

Reply #4 – I really like Kodak Gallery. Easy to use and share, and printing can be done directly or you can pick up at the local CVS. It’s great.

Reply #5 – Just found two more very interesting photo sites. Photofunia.com is a blast! You can put your face into Mount Rushmore, on magazine covers, on the Mona Lisa, on a hundred dollar bill. I also like befunky.com. Their cool effects turn your photos in cartoons, stencils, sketches, charcoal drawings, woodcuts, etc. Both of these sites can make great gifts out of your favorite photos, or perfect covers for your on-line photo albums.

Find out what others had to say or add your own comments about online photo websites on Boomerater.com.

This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from a wealth planner to trips with your grandkids. Seniors for Living contributes its senior housing properties to Boomerater’s local directories, including Maryland assisted living facilities, Michigan Alzheimer’s Care and more.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members discuss easy-to-use computer services to send pictures and emails.

Question: My dad has never taken to computers. He just isn’t interested in learning how to surf the web and thinks he’s too old to understand how to use a computer. Most of his children and grandchildren live a considerable distance from him and would like to send him pictures and emails. Does anyone know of a simple product that can do this without his having to be computer literate?

Reply #1 – You may want to check out the Hewlett-Packard printing mailbox with presto service. It prints emails and photos via the web and you don’t need a computer or Internet connection to use it – just a phone jack. You have to switch your phone line over to receive email, but you can preset what times of the day your phone will receive email. You can’t send email or pictures, just receive them, but it may work out for your dad.

Reply #2 - I suggest that you buy the PC, and install it for him with three simple instructions: Press this to turn it on, press here for email, and here for the Internet browswer. My 90-year-old computer illiterate auntie was presented by her son with this simple option and she just loves it. And he can always ring the grandkids to find out why something is not working.

Reply #3 - I would suggest this amazing service called Celery. The Celery is a fax machine that allows your father to email you without using a computer. What he would do is write you a letter, put it in the Celery machine and press send. He can also send pictures just by putting them through his device. Your family can even send him color pictures that will print out of the Celery machine in photo-quality. Another great feature of the Celery computerlless email system is that it requires no Internet connection. The Celery would plug into his existing phone line. This system is a great way for you and your family members to stay in touch with your father. Go to mycelery.com for more information.

Find out what others had to say about easy-to-use computers, or add your own suggestions on Boomerater.com.