This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from advice on financial planning to anniversary vacations. Seniors for Living contributes its properties to Boomerater’s Alzheimer’s Care directory.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members discuss the responsibilities of being the executor of an estate.

Question: My parents have asked me to be the executor of their estate.  I’m honored that they trust me with this, but I don’t know what’s involved.  I don’t think their estate is very complicated, but I have no idea how much time or effort it could take. Any advice? By the way, I visit them often but do not live near them.

Reply #1: I can offer some insight from my own experience as executor of my parents’ estate…

1. Get duplicate copies of death certificates – you’ll need them to close accounts.
2. Know where everything is kept, not just where they bank, but where the keys for the safe deposit box are, etc. My parents had a weird “secret hiding place” where they kept my grandmother’s jewelry – fortunately I knew about that, but I never could find the keys to the car.
3. All costs have to be paid before you can settle the estate. This includes rent or mortgage, credit cards, property taxes, medical bills, etc.

Reply #2: Early responsibilities of the executor include identifying the assets and liabilities.  This in itself can be complicated.  Costs associated with an illness, tax issues and any business relationship the decedent had all have to be taken into account.  To handle the legal, financial and tax issues I suggest you find competent financial advisors with experience in each of the areas.  A good executor works with the advisors to oversee the process and makes the final decisions.

Reply #3: The best situation is when the decedent has made his/her wishes known and documented… who gets what, where all the documents are, etc.  My aunt and uncle, who never had children, willed some personal items to individuals, then divided the rest of the estate into “lots.” Each heir (mostly nieces and nephews) drew one lot and received all of the items associated with that lot.  The lots were of similar value, so everyone was treated equally. The more effort your parents put into organizing their estate and documenting their wishes, the easier your job as executor will be.

Find out what others had to say about being the executor of an estate on Boomerater.com.

It’s a given that baby boomers are facing an uncertain future in terms of retirement. Thanks to the recent ups and downs in the market (with seemingly more downs), plans for retirement among baby boomers have likely changed accordingly; perhaps some are still figuring out just what that Plan B, C, or D looks like. Given this climate, some may consider the recent study in the October issue of the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology to be comforting news, for others, it may be just another twist of the knife.

Here’s the recap: Study authors Yujie Zhan, Mo Wang, and Songqi Liu from the University of Maryland, along with Kenneth S. Shultz from California State University, San Bernardino, used a nationally representative sample of 12,189 retirees (participants range in age from 51 to 61) from the first four waves of the Health and Retirement Study. Entitled “Bridge Employment and Retirees’ Health: A Longitudinal Investigation,” the study purports that full retirement may be bad for your physical and mental health. That’s right, folks. According to the study, seniors who continue to work in the same field in some capacity post-retirement fare better physically and mentally than those who quit cold turkey.

By definition, bridge employment is “the pattern of labor force participation exhibited by older workers as they leave their career jobs and move toward complete labor force withdrawal (Shultz, 2003). It could be a part-time job, self-employment, or temporary employment after full-time employment ends and before permanent retirement begins (Feldman, 1994).”

I have heard numerous accounts of retirees doing the bridge employment thing – retirees who pick up part-time work for financial reasons, or because they can only spend so much time with the grandchildren (wink, wink), or maybe because they just need some structure in their day. Others are interested in that third career – they’ve always wanted to drive a tour bus but never could do it as the family breadwinner.

So, for those prospective retirees who seek work in a different field, the health benefits still outweigh the risks of working longer – but your mental health will be better if you stay in the same field. As per the summary of findings, “Hierarchical regression analyses showed that compared with full retirement, engaging in bridge employment either in a career field or in a different field was associated with fewer major diseases and functional limitations, whereas engaging in career bridge employment was associated with better mental health.”

Study co-author Kenneth Shultz encourages employers to review this study and perhaps take a fresh look at the skills and experience offered by the older, wiser worker. If there are part-time jobs to fill, perhaps a retiree seeking bridge employment is a better fit than the college student juggling three jobs and 13 credits. Shultz also admonishes employers who are sweating out the labor shortage to offer bridge employment options for retirees before sending them out with a cake and a gold watch.

SFL followers, what are your thoughts about this study?  What are your bridge or career bridge employment stories?  Share them here!

-Michelle Seitzer

I’m going to play Roger Ebert for a moment here: before the summer’s end, I highly recommend adding Gran Torino to your Netflix queue and visiting your local video store to rent or buy Up on November 10th. Both are unique, poignant stories woven with intense themes, meaningful symbolism and powerful lessons about the human spirit. Creative and well-told, the two films feature brilliant characters in their golden years – which almost always guarantees a spot on Michelle Seitzer’s DVD library shelves.

You are likely to need Kleenex (and perhaps a large box of M&Ms or whatever your typical movie comfort food may be) for both films; however, what I love so much about these pieces is how realistic the portrayals of their aging protagonists are. Sure, a movie’s a movie and there will be the occasional “suspension of disbelief” at times throughout the two films, but overall, the lives of two elderly men are presented with little to no sugar coating (hence the need for hankies and chocolate).

Despite the bittersweet and at times downright depressing tones, the audience must take away this one very important lesson underscoring both films: being old and alone doesn’t render you immediately incompetent.

Another important theme: rituals & routines, traditions & tendencies are extremely vital in elder’s lives. As they experience the significant personal and physical losses associated with aging and the dizzying pace of “progress,” daily habits and preferences (i.e. reading the paper, getting a hot shave at the barber shop, weeding the garden) are often the means by which elders feel that they are maintaining independence and dignity in a world that is changing in ways they cannot control. This tension is explored on many levels, and with great sensitivity and honesty, in Gran Torino and Up.

Finally (although there is so much that can be said), the films also share a beautiful portrayal of the many mutual benefits of intergenerational relationships, transmitting some much-needed light and humor to the screen.

I applaud the movies’ creators for sharing the Walt Kowalskis and Carl Fredericksens of the world with us, and I hope that audiences across the world will become more sensitive to their existence.

Still not convinced?  Check out the trailers:

Gran Torino Trailer on You Tube

Up Trailer on You Tube

If you’ve seen the films, share your commentary here!

-Michelle Seitzer

Welcome to the October 27, 2009 edition of Boomers and Seniors: News You Can Use. This installment focuses on transition, memories, and meaning… and the more, the merrier. After all, there’s nothing like having a strong support network when you’re going through a major life transition. That’s why we’re so glad to honor the Top Boomer & Senior Bloggers on Twitter. Each Twitter personality on the list has something to offer anyone needing advice, real stories, or facts about boomer and senior issues. Like this blog carnival, it’s a great way to connect with those in-the-know.

Senior Care/Caregiving

Currently, 5 million U.S. citizens have Alzheimer’s disease or related dementia, and an unfortunate outcome of the disease is that a person may wander away, explains Jaclyn from ALFA Re:source. “Earlier this year Congressman Lloyd Doggett from Texas introduced the Silver Alert bill – it passed the House but not the Senate. Doggett’s Silver Alert bill is similar to the effective Amber Alert for missing children. If Doggett’s bill were to become law, states would have a mechanism for alerting all of us about a missing individual with dementia. ALFA is a strong supporter of this bill. Are you?” Read more about it at Needed Now: Silver Alert Support.

New research about dementia has resulted in the reclassification of the disease, and both the public and the medical community are startled. In a recent blog post “Redefining Dementia as a Terminal Illness,” Dale Carter demonstrates how deeply this impacts the choices we make for our loved ones with advanced dementia. For more valuable caregiver-related information, read her blog Transition Aging Parents.

Our SFL post, The Stuff of Life: Sorting Through Your Loved One’s Belongings, got a lot of interest this past month. It’s a topic to which many can relate. However, the decision to let dg of one’s materials isn’t just an issue that affects seniors. According to Opted Magazine, our life stages greatly affect our dependence on possessions.

December is generally when people say thanks to health care providers with a small token or gift. And while those gifts are appreciated, Viki Kind has an even better idea. See what it is at the KindEthics.com blog, in her post Celebrate the Holidays Today.

The World of Work

Have you been one of the stock market’s recent job loss victims? If so, it’s time to get back on the hunt. Start with SeniorsforLiving’s 10 Part-Time Jobs For Fixed-Income Retirees.

Along those lines, Super Saver presents its picks for part-time work. Check out Looking for Great Part Time Retiree Jobs at My Wealth Builder for even more ideas.

And if it’s meaningful work you’re seeking, click into In Search of Senior Employees posted at ALFA Re:source to find out more about ReServe. This New York City-based organization serves local communities by matching area seniors and baby boomers with programs that serve youth, seniors, and other members of the community in need of help.

Lisa O’Neill gets us thinking about whether there is a glass ceiling in existence in care sector? at Whereforcare.com. Even if you don’t work in the industry, the points she raises is sure conjure up some interesting debate.

Boomer Issues

When the work day is done, it’s time to look for fun ways to enjoy the season. Enter Kaye Swain and her post, Time for Autumn Magic for the Sandwich Generation posted at SandwichINK.com. “Read up for some Autumn Fun for the Sandwich Generation,” says Swain, “and don’t forget the time change coming soon!”

Here’s something new not only for the kids (they probably already have it mastered!), but for the older ones in our lives: Skype. In her post, 10 Ways Seniors Can Use Skype posted at Bright Insights, Erin Schmidt targets all of you who are wondering what all the Skype hype is about? “It’s actually a great way to keep seniors and the disabled connected with family and friends.”

The recent death of my husband’s grandmother reminded me of an issue that many families have to wrestle with after (and sometimes before) the passing of a senior loved one: what do we do with all their stuff?  Forget what’s in or out of the will – a person’s estate encompasses much more than the house, yacht, or other large possessions. I suspect that the majority of last wills and testaments do not include minute details like “sister Mary gets my favorite cashmere sweater and a set of dish towels” or “cousin Joseph gets my dress slacks and shoes.” But for anyone that has lost a loved one – especially a senior who has accumulated knick-knacks, clothing, dishes and other miscellaneous items for 70, 80, or 90+ years – figuring out what to do with these material possessions is a very difficult task.

Although many of today’s seniors have downsized into a smaller apartment or assisted living unit before their passing, they and their families are still charged with the task of “trash, sell, keep” (ever watch TLC’s Clean Sweep?) both prior to and after their death. This trying task is complicated by a number of factors; deadlines and family dynamics are likely the top two here.

In the case of my husband’s grandmother, the family had a limited amount of time to remove her belongings from the assisted living unit where she lived in order that they would not be charged for another month of rent. In some cases, facilities may have a waiting list and perhaps cannot be as flexible in terms of giving the family some time to sort things out. If the senior is still living and is moving from their home of 60 years to a retirement community, there is still the challenge of time. And besides, it’s likely that even with all the time in the world, downsizing is an enormously daunting task.

Quite possibly, a deadline is helpful in moving that huge process forward… although it adds a layer of stress to be sure, not to mention the fact that in the case of a death, loved ones are still absorbing the shock of the passing and entering the various stages of grief as they are forced to sort through Mother’s belongings. This is not a process for the faint of heart.

And that lovely thing known as family dynamics – the thing which causes brother #1 to argue with sister #4 about who gets Dad’s car… or who threw out Mom’s doilies without asking me first… or why does granddaughter B get the antique dresser?  Many sticky situations ensue, especially if brother #1 and sister #4 have a long history of arguing with each other, or if granddaughter B has long been pegged as the “favorite.” I’m sure many of you have examples of your own and can attest to the extreme tensions that can arise among family members during this time.

So do your homework. Ask your senior loved one what he would like to do with all his “stuff” if there aren’t clear and complete instructions in the will already. Perhaps bring in an impartial third party to help sort things through. Talk to your family members and keep the lines of communication open. Sometimes, clear and honest discussion could prevent these fights from occurring, if families are able to share what they want or don’t want. Find out what seemingly insignificant items may have extraordinary meaning to certain family members before charging ahead with the trash bags. It might not always be the valuable antique desk that the children fight over.

You may want to consider working with a Senior Move Manager to help with the downsizing and relocating process for your loved one. For more information, visit http://www.nasmm.org/.

For a great overview on estate planning, visit http://www.abanet.org/rpte/public/home.html.

SFL followers, can you share any resources for our readers that have been helpful to you?

-Michelle Seitzer

If you follow SeniorsforLiving on Twitter, or read our blog often, you know how much we value the relationships we’ve made on the social networks. Thanks to the people we’re “following” and those that we’re starting to “Fan” or “Friend” on Facebook.com, we’re discovering new sources of important information about senior care and housing, caregiving and home care, boomer issues, and more.

It’s enabled us to form synergies with like-minded companies, organizations, and individuals with whom we share a passion, a commitment, and a dedication. Although we have, at times, recognized our social network colleagues in our blogroll (see “Follow Friday Love” at right), we thought it would be useful to compile some of our favorite senior and boomer bloggers on Twitter in one all-inclusive list that we invite others to add to via the comments section.

We hope you’ll enjoy our new feature, and want to let you know that we will be adding to and enhancing this list in coming weeks.Want to be the first ones to find out when? Follow us on Twitter or Fan us on Facebook if you’re not already doing so.

This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from financial planners to vacation packages. Seniors for Living contributes its properties to Boomerater’s retirement living directory.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members share their experiences about caring for a relative with dementia.

Question:
My father, who lives with us, was just recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. We don’t know how to plan for his care or what we can expect as his condition worsens. We have heard horror stories from friends who have had relatives with this devastating disease. Where do we start?

Reply #1 fromMichelle Seitzer, SFL blogger:
Receiving a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or a related dementia for your loved one can be devastating. The second biggest challenge? Adapting your home to best care for the needs of your loved one overwhelms many caregivers after leaving the doctor’s office.

Here’s the good news: there is a wealth of information and resources out there that are easily accessible. That being said, what you need to remember above all is that flexibility is the key to success. No matter how many books you read or checklists you follow, your loved one’s care needs will change, or his needs might be so unique that you must create alternative solutions other than those suggested. Buying an expensive, high tech gadget to assist your loved one with daily tasks may not always be the best option — in fact, the gadget itself could present more hazard than help. Alzheimer’s does not fit in a box, so any resources you consult may have to be adapted to fit your care recipient’s unique situation.

Caregivers must begin to look at the home in a brand new light. What hazards exist that could be easily removed? What environmental features should be brought in to foster independence while maintaining safety? And, perhaps the most complicated question is, simply, where does one begin?

An understanding of the changes that can affect the person with dementia is helpful to provide a firm foundation. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, there are five key changes that will occur throughout the disease process:

• Judgment: forgetting how to use household appliances, etc.
• Sense of time and place: getting lost on one’s own street; being unable to recognize or find areas in the home
• Behavior: the care recipient will become easily confused, suspicious or fearful
• Physical ability: the person with dementia may have trouble with balance; depending upon a walker or wheelchair to get around
• Senses: changes in vision, hearing, sensitivity to temperatures or depth perception

Clearly, these changes underscore the importance of flexibility. Some persons with dementia may experience all of these changes at once, others may never have a change in behavior, but may have a drastic drop in physical ability. Some may only experience moderate changes in these areas but these changes may occur over a longer period of time. There is no timeline for these transformations, making the challenge of adapting the home all the more difficult.

Before diving in to the seemingly endless stack of literature or ordering a plethora of items from suppliers of creative home aids like The Alzheimer’s Store, caregivers must recognize the crucial need for respite. If the caregiver is not aware of his own needs or pushes those needs aside, both the caregiver and the care recipient will be at risk. Caregiver burnout is often unseen, but it is all too common. It won’t matter how many non-skid rugs are placed or how many door alarms are installed if the caregiver is not able to meet the care recipient’s needs. In many cases, the caregiver may have health needs of her own and could also benefit from a safer, more streamlined environment.

Keep a positive outlook as you adjust your home. Remember, it is still your castle, but making certain adjustments for the care recipient may even make the lives of other household members easier, too. Involve all members of the family in this process. Children, grandchildren, or other inhabitants may offer valuable insights that might otherwise go unnoticed. It will also ensure that when their help is needed (and it certainly will be needed), all household members have been included in the decision-making process and are part of the action plan.

Reply #2:

With the economy the way it is, more families are caring for Alzheimer stricken loved ones at home. With the monthly cost for an Alzheimer facility running $5,000 to $10,000 each month, there often is no other option. Now is the time to develop a plan for his care while he can still participate. Things to consider:

• Financial aspects: Get all his financial and legal documents together, including: his will, medical and durable powers of attorney, deeds, mortgage papers, bank accounts, pension and other retirement documents, life insurance and health insurance policies, social security info, stock and bond certificates and any documentation about his monthly and outstanding bills.
• Resources to tap: Even though the costs can be high, there are several resources you can turn to including Medicare, disability insurance, long-term care insurance, life insurance, Social Security Disability Income, Supplemental Security Income and Medicaid. The Alzheimer’s Association website alz.org discusses these different financial resources, as well as just about everything else you need to know as a caregiver for a patient with Alzheimer’s.
• Tax Deductions: This site also lists a number of deductions caregivers take for medical/nursing care, transportation, home modifications, etc.

Add your comments or find out what others had to say about caring for a relative with Alzheimer’s on Boomerater.com.

Society pressures people, particularly women, to look a certain way as they age, so people continue to fight the aging process. Maybe I just don’t “get it,” but I am somewhat puzzled by anti-aging elective plastic surgery procedures. I notice them more as I get older and have wrinkles and such of my own, but frankly, sometimes people end up looking rather bizarre.

I’m not alone in questioning if people actually do look younger after procedures such as Botox or Restylane. Even plastic surgeons agree that some plastic surgery results can be questionable:

“We’ve all seen some bizarre-looking results … the fish-lip syndrome, the over-Botoxed celebrity who looks like her forehead is made of porcelain, the brow lift that leaves somebody in a perpetual state of surprise … or eyelid lifts that are so extreme that somebody ends up looking like a cadaver,” says Dr. Joseph Gryskiewicz, a cosmetic surgeon with a practice outside Minneapolis and a spokesperson for the American Society of Plastic Surgeons.

I’m all for people doing things to feel better about themselves, but sometimes it seems like all these procedures actually call attention to people’s ages. We lose sight of the fact that youth and beauty are two different things.

Why can’t we have more initiatives such as Dove’s Pro-Age Campaign? These are real people, beautiful women, aging normally. LOVE this ad; check it out:

This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from financial advisors to trip ideas. Seniors for Living contributes its properties to Boomerater’s senior housing directory.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members share their experiences with Macular Degeneration, the number one cause of age-related blindness.

Question: I was just diagnosed with Macular Degeneration and I’m freaking out. Anyone have experience with this disease? Are there any treatments that work? I’ve never had a problem with my eyes and this came from out of the blue.

Reply #1:
I have macular degeneration (md) in both eyes. The Amsler grid is used to determine if you have md. When I look at the grid with just my right eye all of the lines of the grid seem straight and clear. With my left eye the lines are wavy and distorted. My ophthalmologist diagnosed macular degeneration and sent me to a retina specialist. My mother and both of her siblings had md so I was genetically predisposed to get it. The retina specialist took pictures of my macula, the central part of the retina that provides for sharp, clear vision. The pictures showed I had “dry” md in my right eye, and “wet” in my left. Wet is the worse of the two. Both eyes have “drusens” which are yellow deposits under the retina. These are early signs of md but they alone don’t cause severe vision loss. My center of my left retina has a protuberance that is distorting my vision.

Every six weeks I have Lucentis injections in the white part of my left eye. Sounds like it would hurt, but it really doesn’t. They numb the eye before the injection. After the injection I use antibiotic drops for 3 days to protect against infection. At each visit he takes more pictures to check for change in my left eye. Unfortunately there’s been no improvement, but it hasn’t gotten worse, so maybe injections have held off progression of the disease. The injections are very costly, so make sure your insurance company agrees to pay before you take them. I also take “AREDS” which is a vitamin complex very rich in eye nutrients. And I take lutein, long considered helpful for eye health. My new glasses include a prism in my left lens that has helped a lot for my distant vision. My reading glasses don’t help much, I actually read better with my left eye closed.

Reply #2:
It’s important that anyone diagnosed with macular degeneration check their eyes with the Amsler grid daily and report any changes to the eye doctor. You can download a copy at http://www.allaboutvision.com/conditions/amsler-grid.htm. This site also has the latest news articles on the disease. By the way, smokers are 2.5 times more likely to get macular degeneration – one more reason to kick the habit.

Reply #3:
I also have Macular Degeneration. As people live longer, experts expect it to become America’s #1 cause of age-related vision loss to become even more prevalent. I read a Times on-line article entitled “Blind to be cured with stem cells” that gave me lots of hope. In London they have been experimenting with laboratory trials on animals, replacing degenerated cells with new ones created from embryonic stem cells. The trials have been successful. While the therapy may not be available for 6 or 7 years, it is encouraging that Pfizer, the world’s largest pharmaceutical research company, will produce the artificial membranes on which the embryonic stem cells are placed. Also it appears the treatment may take less than an hour as an outpatient procedure. Read the article at http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/health/article6122757.ece

Add your comment or find out what others had to say about age-related Macular Degeneration on Boomerater.com.

It’s time to fall into autumn with our September 22, 2009 edition of Boomers and Seniors – News You Can Use. The chillier weather makes this season the time of year when you just want to snuggle up and stay inside. But there’s a harvest of opportunities to enjoy, even when it’s brisk out there! Read on for great resources about staying active and informed this fall. And, if it’s inspiration you seek as the days get a bit gloomy, look no further than this recent SeniorsforLiving.com post about Dr. Joseph Kirsner. He just celebrated his 100th birthday in a very unique way. Find out here!