“What do I do about dinner?”
“Where is the checkbook?”
“Do I want another relationship with a woman?”
These are a few of the simple and not-so-simple questions men must face after dealing with a loss in later life — either through death or divorce, say Harold “Hal” Spielman and Marc Silbert. In the book Suddenly Solo, Spielman and Silbert teamed up to create a “lifestyle road map” for mature men who find themselves, expected or not, in this new and often difficult (even frightening) stage of life and love.
The book reveals that over 175,00 men are widowed each year, and over 10 million reported being divorced, per 2010 Census data.
Suddenly Solo is divided into the following five parts, which the authors perceive as the stages of post-loss: separation, being alone and dealing, new connections, the search, and moving on — a new life, new experiences. Each section covers relevant issues like loneliness, where to meet women, financial affairs, sex, living together, family and more, and each page offers advice, resources and help for each of these situations. In the back of the book, readers will also find a glossary of important (though somewhat tongue-in-cheek) terms for the older single man to know: cougar, friends with benefits, going dutch, shacking up, spooning, etc.
Spielman and Silbert have tackled a sensitive topic and have done so with strokes of humor, realism, practicality and wisdom — and in a format that’s totally accessible. To learn more about the book, or to order a copy for yourself or a friend/family member who could benefit from the information, check out SuddenlySolo.org. (Follow them on Facebook and Twitter too!)
Also, check out our Grief & Bereavement Resource Guide for more insights.
Your turn: How did you deal with a loss like this in later life, or even early on? Share your tips in the comments section below.