Getting the Family Involved in an Assisted Living Search

By Michelle Seitzer / Posted on 16 July 2012

Once your family has decided decided it’s time to explore assisted living for a senior relative, there are ways to get everyone involved in the search process so that the burden does not rest entirely on the primary caregiver.

Logistics may be tricky if several family members do not live locally. However, if some are planning to come home for a summer visit or special gathering (a birthday, wedding, family reunion, etc.), it’s an ideal time to get everyone together and talk about possibilities. Skype, FaceTime, and other video chat conferencing tools may also allow for a face-to-face and voice-to-voice meeting across the miles.

Consider these helpful tips for working as a team:

  • Delegate responsibilities. Have individuals take responsibility for the following tasks: searching for communities online, calling to schedule visits/tours at places of interest, determining the financial aspects of the decision, and checking in with the person(s) who will be moving to ensure that their preferences are guiding the search process. When you’ve selected communities to explore in person, assign individuals to accompany your senior family member for the visit.
  • Take notes. Make a list of the things your loved one wants in an assisted living home. Make a list of the pros/cons of certain communities before or after visiting them in person. Jot down things that impressed you about certain communities you visited.
  • Reconvene. After you’ve gathered information, taken tours and done your research, gather again (virtually or in person) and share notes.


Get more advice and insights on searching for senior care here.

There are 2 Comments about this post

  1. teachermama says,

    My sisters and I became contentiously divided when our mother had a stroke and needed therapy. Mama refused and insisted on going home and my sisters catered to her request. I watched mama’s body deteriorate. They were all in denial. Then mama got seriously ill and was hospitalized for 10 days. She agreed to go into a rehab facility to regain her strength. She improved so much in a few weeks, but was not strong enough to stand alone or use her body as before. She needed more time in the rehab facility. Though she was daily progressing, my sibling helped her
    decide to leave the “nursing home”.
    Mama has retirement benefits that would pay for her care. If she had stayed there for one more month she would have made so much progress. Now, eight months later, she can’t even move her lower body except for slight movement in one leg. It is painful to watch her decline. It is painful to be the “trouble maker” in the family. When rehabilitation is needed, it is not uncaring to have a loved one in rehab to facilitate there recovery.


    on 18 July 2012 / 9:02 AM

  2. What a difficult situation! My heart goes out to you and your family, especially your Mama. It is so painful to watch a parent decline, but I’m sure the pain is magnified because of the family disagreements and tensions. You’re right — sometimes facilitating rehab in a facility is best, even if other family members disagree. I hope that your Mama will heal quickly, and that you and your sisters can come together in her support, despite the disagreements on what’s best.

    Thanks for sharing your comments.


    on 18 July 2012 / 4:03 PM


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