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Family Matters: Searching for Senior Living, Together

By Michelle Seitzer / Posted on 25 June 2012

In large families, everyone has an opinion when it comes to what’s best for their senior loved ones. Some members choose not to express these opinions out loud, but the views of the primary decision makers (adult children, a spouse, etc.) are often quite clear.

Here is where the conflicts typically lie. Brothers and sisters disagree, stepmother and stepchildren disagree, and depending on how many people are involved, various members begin taking sides, forming alliances and causing division at a time when unity would better serve.

If the senior at the center of the decision wants minimal involvement in the process of choosing care, is overwhelmed by making decisions, or is uncertain of what he/she wants, family members may have a much more difficult time in reaching an agreement. If the senior has in one way or another expressed: “I prefer assisted living” or “I want home care,” the arguments between siblings and other family members should cease. Their focus should now turn to “how can we make this work?” and “what happens next?” instead of trying to persuade the senior to choose another option.

Searching for senior living, both online and in person, can be an overwhelming and cumbersome process on its own. Don’t weigh it down further by unnecessary arguing and in-fighting within the family unit.

Read more about sibling rivalry and complex family dynamics in senior care decision-making here.

 

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