You and your brother never got along as children. Now that you are adults with children of your own, you have gone your separate ways and there is no need to interact — except on holidays, or until a parent needs care.
Difficult family dynamics and strained relationships, particularly among siblings, can quickly muddy the waters when decisions must be made about senior care. Differences of opinion, old quarrels and unresolved hurts bubble to the surface. The situation is often further intensified by the emotions accompanying the need for change: maybe Mom has Alzheimer’s, or Dad has COPD, or Mom and Dad are both in poor health and can no longer live on their own. Whatever the scenario, each family member will deal with their emotions about their parents’ declining health differently, therefore each will have his or her own opinions about what is the best next step. Home care? A senior housing community that offers specialized Alzheimer’s care?
Though having more options besides just nursing home care is generally a positive thing, it may further drive a wedge among family members who disagree, splintering the family unit and making consensus nearly impossible.
Read these posts When Siblings Disagree About a Senior Living Transition and Respect & Sensitivity Necessary in Making a Senior Care Decision for insights on making a decision that has the parent’s best interests (and not spiting your sister) at heart.