When Couples with Different Needs Require Care

By Michelle Seitzer / Posted on 04 January 2012

Disagreement among couples about a senior care transition takes on many forms.

It can be a difference of opinion that leads one to prefer Assisted Living A and the other Assisted Living B, or Home Care Agency A versus Home Care Agency B. In another case, Dad is ready to give up mowing the lawn, grocery shopping, and living in a rural home without neighbors nearby or the buzz of activities in which to engage, but Mom holds steadfastly to living independently as long as possible, in the home that has been theirs for decades, resisting offers of assistance from family or suggestions for outside help.

Many adult children concerned about their parents’ care are faced with these variances, and many more are facing true disparities in terms of what type of care each individual needs. Perhaps your mother has dementia and your father’s recent stroke prevents him from being able to provide the attention she needs. Maybe your great uncle is resolutely independent and fully capable of living in an apartment with no assistance, but his wife’s cancer is advancing quickly and she requires skilled medical care. A continuing care community may be a good option; home care can also fill in the gap.

If your family is struggling with these discrepancies, read about what to do in When Couples Disagree About Assisted Living.

Your Turn: How did your family handle a divergence in care needs?


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