Seniors For Living

Downsizing and dealing with stuff is a big part of caring for a parent, friend or relative who needs to move out of their home (say, into assisted living) – or to make their home a safer place to be. In keeping with many aspects of caregiving, it’s a difficult process, especially when other family members get involved. The transition is fraught with emotion, as most people become deeply attached to belongings and to the home they’ve lived in for years.

On Wednesday, 64 participants contributed a total of 673 tweets to the #ElderCareChat stream, heartily agreeing that dealing with clutter, confronting a hoarder, or consolidating a lifetime of belongings into a one-bedroom assisted living apartment is indeed a major feat, which, sadly, often produces irreparable rifts in the family.

@CaringPeopleInc offered this advice for starting off on the right foot:
“Make sure the family is on board and present a unified but patient front when presenting “paredown” idea to elder parents.”

And @ElinSilveous made a strong case for being as proactive as possible:
“Was easier for my Mother to downsize before she died than it is for me to purge her things. Memories keep you stuck.”

We talked about the advantages of using senior move managers and other moving professionals not only to aid in the logistics of packing, moving, trashing, donating, distributing, selling and streamlining, but to step in as an impartial mediator when the emotional temperature hits the boiling point (or better yet, before then). @jgonto (from 1-800-GOTJUNK), @jkmoving and @CaringTransCorp were among the professionals who presented their services and how they can help.

@jgonto indicated that their employees are well-trained not only to sort items into piles and organize clutter effectively but also to deal with the personal side of the situation:
“Of course- there is always an emotional attachment to ‘stuff’ but we train our teams for these situations.”

Some candidly practical words of wisdom came from @aldeacom:
“Moving sucks for everyone. Think about ‘blessing others’ w/ your discards through freecycle or craigslist.”

Wrapping up the chat were tweets of advice to those facing a senior living transition; here are a few particularly memorable ones:

@SeniorLivingNet: TIP: clean out the kitchen first! That’s the one room you can get rid of 99% because it’s not needed in assisted living.
@SeniorCounselor: Set small goals & tackle one at a time. (When you feel like you’re making progress, keep going).
@SageMinder: Food is primary – moving day without pizza & good dessert is setting yourself up for problems.
@caregiving: Have back-up plans. A move rarely runs smoothly.
@jocelyn528: Make sure senior is a part of the process. Take time to share memories when you can.
@compassionateh: Try to make it into an experience, not a task.
@CaringWise: For yourself: Try to remember, it’s just stuff. For your elder: Patience, love, patience.

Remember, a full transcript is always available following the chat. Click here to review or share our downsizing discussion with any who may benefit from the information and insights therein.

Don’t miss our next chat: Wednesday, October 19^th at 1pm ET. We welcome people from all walks of life, of all ages, provided they’re passionate about sharing lessons learned – or curious about knowing more – in eldercare. Tell your friends, family members, and colleagues to join our bi-weekly discussions anytime. If the time frame doesn’t sync with your schedule, start a discussion thread on our LinkedIn page, or use the #eldercarechat hashtag to present a question or idea to the group.

Learn more about senior move managers and sorting through a loved one’s belongings here at our site.