This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from financial planners to vacation packages. Seniors for Living contributes its properties to Boomerater’s retirement living directory.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members share their experiences about caring for a relative with dementia.

Question:
My father, who lives with us, was just recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. We don’t know how to plan for his care or what we can expect as his condition worsens. We have heard horror stories from friends who have had relatives with this devastating disease. Where do we start?

Reply #1 fromMichelle Seitzer, SFL blogger:
Receiving a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or a related dementia for your loved one can be devastating. The second biggest challenge? Adapting your home to best care for the needs of your loved one overwhelms many caregivers after leaving the doctor’s office.

Here’s the good news: there is a wealth of information and resources out there that are easily accessible. That being said, what you need to remember above all is that flexibility is the key to success. No matter how many books you read or checklists you follow, your loved one’s care needs will change, or his needs might be so unique that you must create alternative solutions other than those suggested. Buying an expensive, high tech gadget to assist your loved one with daily tasks may not always be the best option — in fact, the gadget itself could present more hazard than help. Alzheimer’s does not fit in a box, so any resources you consult may have to be adapted to fit your care recipient’s unique situation.

Caregivers must begin to look at the home in a brand new light. What hazards exist that could be easily removed? What environmental features should be brought in to foster independence while maintaining safety? And, perhaps the most complicated question is, simply, where does one begin?

An understanding of the changes that can affect the person with dementia is helpful to provide a firm foundation. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, there are five key changes that will occur throughout the disease process:

• Judgment: forgetting how to use household appliances, etc.
• Sense of time and place: getting lost on one’s own street; being unable to recognize or find areas in the home
• Behavior: the care recipient will become easily confused, suspicious or fearful
• Physical ability: the person with dementia may have trouble with balance; depending upon a walker or wheelchair to get around
• Senses: changes in vision, hearing, sensitivity to temperatures or depth perception

Clearly, these changes underscore the importance of flexibility. Some persons with dementia may experience all of these changes at once, others may never have a change in behavior, but may have a drastic drop in physical ability. Some may only experience moderate changes in these areas but these changes may occur over a longer period of time. There is no timeline for these transformations, making the challenge of adapting the home all the more difficult.

Before diving in to the seemingly endless stack of literature or ordering a plethora of items from suppliers of creative home aids like The Alzheimer’s Store, caregivers must recognize the crucial need for respite. If the caregiver is not aware of his own needs or pushes those needs aside, both the caregiver and the care recipient will be at risk. Caregiver burnout is often unseen, but it is all too common. It won’t matter how many non-skid rugs are placed or how many door alarms are installed if the caregiver is not able to meet the care recipient’s needs. In many cases, the caregiver may have health needs of her own and could also benefit from a safer, more streamlined environment.

Keep a positive outlook as you adjust your home. Remember, it is still your castle, but making certain adjustments for the care recipient may even make the lives of other household members easier, too. Involve all members of the family in this process. Children, grandchildren, or other inhabitants may offer valuable insights that might otherwise go unnoticed. It will also ensure that when their help is needed (and it certainly will be needed), all household members have been included in the decision-making process and are part of the action plan.

Reply #2:

With the economy the way it is, more families are caring for Alzheimer stricken loved ones at home. With the monthly cost for an Alzheimer facility running $5,000 to $10,000 each month, there often is no other option. Now is the time to develop a plan for his care while he can still participate. Things to consider:

• Financial aspects: Get all his financial and legal documents together, including: his will, medical and durable powers of attorney, deeds, mortgage papers, bank accounts, pension and other retirement documents, life insurance and health insurance policies, social security info, stock and bond certificates and any documentation about his monthly and outstanding bills.
• Resources to tap: Even though the costs can be high, there are several resources you can turn to including Medicare, disability insurance, long-term care insurance, life insurance, Social Security Disability Income, Supplemental Security Income and Medicaid. The Alzheimer’s Association website alz.org discusses these different financial resources, as well as just about everything else you need to know as a caregiver for a patient with Alzheimer’s.
• Tax Deductions: This site also lists a number of deductions caregivers take for medical/nursing care, transportation, home modifications, etc.

Add your comments or find out what others had to say about caring for a relative with Alzheimer’s on Boomerater.com.