This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from wealth advisors to relocation ideas. Seniors for Living contributes its properties to Boomerater’s senior living directory.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members share their advice for the recently widowed.

Question: My dear husband recently passed away. For 40 years, he handled our finances and I’m lost without him.  I want to make sure our savings last so that I have financial security. My husband was a wonderful handyman who could fix anything, and he did most of the yard work. I am considering selling the house and moving to a retirement community. Also, I work full time, but am thinking of retiring or changing to a less demanding job.  There are so many decisions to make, where do I start?

Reply #1:
I’m sorry for your loss. It may seem impossible to consider a normal future right now, but you will be amazed at how much strength you have. Please do not make any too many changes right away. Learn what you can about your finances and keep the bills up to date. But don’t rush into major life changes like retiring or moving. A great place to start to put things in perspective is www.wiserwomen.org. This site is run by the Women’s Institute for a Secure Retirement. They have a retirement calculator to help you know how much you will need to live, resources for estate and retirement planning, details about types of survivor benefits and social security, pensions, etc. Another good site is www.wife.org, a non-profit that focuses on women’s financial independence. Just having a place to start was a big help for me when my husband died.

Reply #2:
Beware of scams! Shortly after my dad died, my mother was the target of a terrible scam by a con artist that preyed on widows. He called her, identifying himself as on officer of the court, and told her she had missed her assigned jury duty. When she said she didn’t know anything about it, he treated her horribly, saying she was obviously trying to get out of her civic duty. When she became upset, he told her he would try to have the warrant for her arrest cancelled but would need her full legal name, date of birth and social security number. She gave it to him and now is a victim of identity theft. What a mess! Don’t take advice or give money to anyone.

Reply #3:
Count on your family to care for your emotions, not your finances. It is a big mistake to let your kids take over your finances. My sister turned all financial decisions over to her son, who had no expertise. He made unwise investments and she also ended up paying more in taxes than she would have with a qualified financial adviser. If you don’t have one, ask your lawyer or accountant for a recommendation of someone they know is an expert in life planning. The goal is to maximize your income while minimizing your taxes. Also you want to be sure your assets are protected and you may want to plan how you want your estate handled. Also, if you do decide to make a change, like selling your house, they can offer valuable advice and connect you with a network of other qualified professionals.

Find out what others had to say, or offer your own help for recent widows on Boomerater.com.