This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from wealth planners to romantic getaways. Seniors for Living contributes its properties to Boomerater’s assisted living directory.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members share their advice about adding a stair lift.

Question: My mother is coming to live with us, but the only bedroom we have for her is on the second floor of our two-floor home. We are considering adding a stair lift. Any words of advice?

Reply #1: Installing a stair lift was a big help for us. When my father came to live with us, we actually thought about adding a first-floor bedroom to the house. When we learned how expensive that option would be we looked into adding a stair lift. We decided on the Harmar Pinnacle. It was a great decision. Dad had no trouble operating it, and it took up less space in the stairway than we had anticipated.

Reply #2: Hire a CAPS-certified contractor to review your home for accessibility; they have great ideas and can look at your home with a critical eye for safety. You may need to modify doorways for a wheelchair for the future, and a main floor bathroom. The most important thing to remember when modifying for a lift is that you need a good fire escape route. If the power is out, how will you get your mother safely out the door? You can have the house wiring modified to have an always-on generator that backs up your primary system.

These are things that your CAPS certified contractor is trained to review your home for. Every home is different, and that’s their specialty — making homes safe and prepared for people to age in place adapting homes to the changing needs of family members utilizing principals of universal design.

Reply #3: I would advise also thinking about preparing an accessible bathroom and a zero step entrance into the home, because it sounds like she’s declining and she could use the extra attention to safety!

Add your own comments or find out what others had to say about adding a stair lift on Boomerater.com.

I stumbled upon an absolutely fascinating study while browsing the latest ProAging e-newsletter. It’s called the Sleepover Project. Architects and designers from the Baltimore-based firm CSD (Cochran, Stephenson & Donkervoet) launched the project in March of this year. Here’s the project’s purpose from the CSD website:

“With the long-term goal of providing better design and building more responsive communities, CSD is sending each member of its senior living architectural design team to stay overnight in a senior living community. Between March and September 2009, as many as 36 ‘Sleepers’ will be assigned to a diverse range of communities – both geographically and demographically – from Boston to Los Angeles, Seattle to Miami; in urban, suburban and rural locations; and with accommodations ranging from modest to high-end.”

In addition to receiving their facility assignment, “sleepers” are given an identity and must assess and evaluate the environment as such. For example, one sleeper, a 32-year-old landscape architect, was asked to take on the role of an 81-year-old woman recovering from gall-bladder surgery at a rehab facility in Baltimore. The sleeper was asked to use a wheelchair during her stay and eventually transition to walking again before leaving the facility.

OK, I’m almost 31, so I can imagine that it would not be easy to maneuver myself through my daily tasks from a wheelchair (especially at the pace I move most days), much less if I was pretending to be an 81-year-old recovering from surgery. But what extraordinary insights this architect must have gained!  And how much better informed will senior living design teams be, having received this valuable data?  Here’s a highlight from Sleeper #2’s blog entry:

“While shuffling around, and even at a stand still, the simplest daily motions posed the greatest challenges from the seat of the wheelchair. While reaching for items normally at shoulder or head height, Sleeper #2 found herself at a complete loss. Without a stick to knock things off shelves and desks, there was no way to be self-sufficient in grabbing items stored 4’ off the ground or higher.”

Given Sleeper #2’s real-life role as a landscape architect, I found her assessment to be very interesting in terms of how she looked at the view from the window. Think about how many senior living residents sit in front of a window, either in their private unit or a common sitting room. If you’ve ever worked in or visited someone at a senior living community, you know that this is a familiar scene. She offers some great ideas around “opening up the view and extending the life of outdoor spaces” in the piece.

The Sleepover Project is definitely worth checking out, whether or not you’re interested in design. Perhaps you are considering a facility for a loved one. Think about how different the environment of a senior living community really is in comparison with your loved one’s home (and we wonder why often our senior family member resists the idea of moving in?).

Tour the facility with that in mind – it’s so easy to get wrapped up in what the place smells like or how lavishly it’s decorated or how many friendly smiling faces greet you at the door. Those things are all very important, but you must also consider the loved ones who have to live there after being comfortable in their own home for 50 years or more. Think about it from their point of view, and if you need some help putting yourself in their shoes, read a few entries from The Sleepover Project.

Seniors for Living has also done a few blog posts about the importance of senior-friendly design – check them out at: Aging in Place Designer Style and Design Makes a Difference in Today’s Senior Living Homes.

-Michelle Seitzer

Welcome to the October 27, 2009 edition of Boomers and Seniors: News You Can Use. This installment focuses on transition, memories, and meaning… and the more, the merrier. After all, there’s nothing like having a strong support network when you’re going through a major life transition. That’s why we’re so glad to honor the Top Boomer & Senior Bloggers on Twitter. Each Twitter personality on the list has something to offer anyone needing advice, real stories, or facts about boomer and senior issues. Like this blog carnival, it’s a great way to connect with those in-the-know.

Senior Care/Caregiving

Currently, 5 million U.S. citizens have Alzheimer’s disease or related dementia, and an unfortunate outcome of the disease is that a person may wander away, explains Jaclyn from ALFA Re:source. “Earlier this year Congressman Lloyd Doggett from Texas introduced the Silver Alert bill – it passed the House but not the Senate. Doggett’s Silver Alert bill is similar to the effective Amber Alert for missing children. If Doggett’s bill were to become law, states would have a mechanism for alerting all of us about a missing individual with dementia. ALFA is a strong supporter of this bill. Are you?” Read more about it at Needed Now: Silver Alert Support.

New research about dementia has resulted in the reclassification of the disease, and both the public and the medical community are startled. In a recent blog post “Redefining Dementia as a Terminal Illness,” Dale Carter demonstrates how deeply this impacts the choices we make for our loved ones with advanced dementia. For more valuable caregiver-related information, read her blog Transition Aging Parents.

Our SFL post, The Stuff of Life: Sorting Through Your Loved One’s Belongings, got a lot of interest this past month. It’s a topic to which many can relate. However, the decision to let dg of one’s materials isn’t just an issue that affects seniors. According to Opted Magazine, our life stages greatly affect our dependence on possessions.

December is generally when people say thanks to health care providers with a small token or gift. And while those gifts are appreciated, Viki Kind has an even better idea. See what it is at the KindEthics.com blog, in her post Celebrate the Holidays Today.

The World of Work

Have you been one of the stock market’s recent job loss victims? If so, it’s time to get back on the hunt. Start with SeniorsforLiving’s 10 Part-Time Jobs For Fixed-Income Retirees.

Along those lines, Super Saver presents its picks for part-time work. Check out Looking for Great Part Time Retiree Jobs at My Wealth Builder for even more ideas.

And if it’s meaningful work you’re seeking, click into In Search of Senior Employees posted at ALFA Re:source to find out more about ReServe. This New York City-based organization serves local communities by matching area seniors and baby boomers with programs that serve youth, seniors, and other members of the community in need of help.

Lisa O’Neill gets us thinking about whether there is a glass ceiling in existence in care sector? at Whereforcare.com. Even if you don’t work in the industry, the points she raises is sure conjure up some interesting debate.

Boomer Issues

When the work day is done, it’s time to look for fun ways to enjoy the season. Enter Kaye Swain and her post, Time for Autumn Magic for the Sandwich Generation posted at SandwichINK.com. “Read up for some Autumn Fun for the Sandwich Generation,” says Swain, “and don’t forget the time change coming soon!”

Here’s something new not only for the kids (they probably already have it mastered!), but for the older ones in our lives: Skype. In her post, 10 Ways Seniors Can Use Skype posted at Bright Insights, Erin Schmidt targets all of you who are wondering what all the Skype hype is about? “It’s actually a great way to keep seniors and the disabled connected with family and friends.”

The health care reform buzz may be front and center in the news these days, but with so many media outlets and so many opinions, it’s not easy to keep up. And yet it is most certainly an issue that many of us are watching with great concern and curiosity.

A number of senior advocacy organizations are offering valuable resources for the general public to stay current on the latest and greatest, specifically in terms of the impact on seniors. I’ve listed a few of them here:

- The Senate Special Committee on Aging held a briefing on “How Health Reform will impact seniors” on September 17, 2009.  To view the archived webcast of the hearing, visit http://aging.senate.gov/.

- If you’re like me, you want to see things on paper (or read it on a computer screen). To see a comprehensive, side-by-side comparison of major health care reform proposals, check out this excellent tool from the policy experts at the Kaiser Family Foundation (KFF): http://www.kff.org/healthreform/sidebyside.cfm.

- Another great side-by-side comparison from KFF takes a specific look at key Medicare provisions in the health reform proposals. To view the tool, go to http://www.kff.org/healthreform/upload/7948.pdf.

- AAHSA (American Association of Homes and Services for the Aging) explores a number of topics relating to seniors and health reform on their advocacy page – including an overview of the CLASS Act/Affordable Health Choices Act legislation: http://www.aahsa.org/classact.aspx

- You can also visit AARP’s home page to “Get the Facts on Health Reform” (go to http://www.aarp.org/health/articles/health_reform_get_the_facts.html) or to read a feature article on the impact of changes to Medicare at http://bulletin.aarp.org/yourhealth/medicare/articles/medicare_question.html.

- Most likely, your Member of Congress or U.S. Senator has a number of links or articles on their home page, outlining their position on and understanding of the reform debate. Many legislators have and continue to host Town Hall meetings to garner input and feedback from their constituents; some have been met with great success while others have encountered some heated opinions that have certainly made the news. Visit http://www.house.gov and http://www.senate.gov/ to find your elected official’s home page. Visit http://www.thomas.gov/ to access the actual legislation (you can do a keyword search, or get the bill numbers from the KFF’s report above).

Proposals are just that – so they are liable to change as the debate goes on. But for now, you can get up to speed by accessing a few of the above resources.

- Michelle Seitzer

This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from investment advisors to vacation packages. Seniors for Living contributes its properties to Boomerater’s independent living directory.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members share their experiences about trading or selling gift cards, paying for grandchildren’s college, and selling a time share.

Question #1: I want to sell my time share in Florida, but am afraid I won’t make my money back. What is the best way to sell a time share?

Answer #1:
You’ll probably only get about half of what you paid. But if you used it for several vacations, you can look at the time you spent there as time you would have paid to stay at resort hotels. You might have luck selling it through the Time Share Users’ Group website.

Question #2: While I love receiving gift cards to purchase items I want or need, each year I receive cards for stores I don’t patronize.  Does anyone know of an outlet for trading gift cards with others who find themselves in the same situation?

Answer:
You can sell or trade your gift cards on http://www.plasticjungle.com . You can sell cards at http://www.giftcardsagain.com and at http://www.giftah.com. Also, you can trade gift items, video games, books and textbooks, gift cards, electronics, etc. at http://www.caretotrade.com.

Question #3: I’ve heard there are some expenses you can pay directly for a family member without being subject to paying a gift tax. I am especially interested in tuition for my children and medical expenses for my parents.

Answer:
You can pay for college tuition as long as you pay the bills directly to the college and medical bills paid to the doctor or hospital are also OK.  Some expenses are not allowed. For example, if you pay for your grandson’s music lessons or help pay to have an addition built on your daughter’s home, the amount you contribute will be subject to the gift tax.

Add your own comments, or find out what others have to say at Boomerater.com.

The recent death of my husband’s grandmother reminded me of an issue that many families have to wrestle with after (and sometimes before) the passing of a senior loved one: what do we do with all their stuff?  Forget what’s in or out of the will – a person’s estate encompasses much more than the house, yacht, or other large possessions. I suspect that the majority of last wills and testaments do not include minute details like “sister Mary gets my favorite cashmere sweater and a set of dish towels” or “cousin Joseph gets my dress slacks and shoes.” But for anyone that has lost a loved one – especially a senior who has accumulated knick-knacks, clothing, dishes and other miscellaneous items for 70, 80, or 90+ years – figuring out what to do with these material possessions is a very difficult task.

Although many of today’s seniors have downsized into a smaller apartment or assisted living unit before their passing, they and their families are still charged with the task of “trash, sell, keep” (ever watch TLC’s Clean Sweep?) both prior to and after their death. This trying task is complicated by a number of factors; deadlines and family dynamics are likely the top two here.

In the case of my husband’s grandmother, the family had a limited amount of time to remove her belongings from the assisted living unit where she lived in order that they would not be charged for another month of rent. In some cases, facilities may have a waiting list and perhaps cannot be as flexible in terms of giving the family some time to sort things out. If the senior is still living and is moving from their home of 60 years to a retirement community, there is still the challenge of time. And besides, it’s likely that even with all the time in the world, downsizing is an enormously daunting task.

Quite possibly, a deadline is helpful in moving that huge process forward… although it adds a layer of stress to be sure, not to mention the fact that in the case of a death, loved ones are still absorbing the shock of the passing and entering the various stages of grief as they are forced to sort through Mother’s belongings. This is not a process for the faint of heart.

And that lovely thing known as family dynamics – the thing which causes brother #1 to argue with sister #4 about who gets Dad’s car… or who threw out Mom’s doilies without asking me first… or why does granddaughter B get the antique dresser?  Many sticky situations ensue, especially if brother #1 and sister #4 have a long history of arguing with each other, or if granddaughter B has long been pegged as the “favorite.” I’m sure many of you have examples of your own and can attest to the extreme tensions that can arise among family members during this time.

So do your homework. Ask your senior loved one what he would like to do with all his “stuff” if there aren’t clear and complete instructions in the will already. Perhaps bring in an impartial third party to help sort things through. Talk to your family members and keep the lines of communication open. Sometimes, clear and honest discussion could prevent these fights from occurring, if families are able to share what they want or don’t want. Find out what seemingly insignificant items may have extraordinary meaning to certain family members before charging ahead with the trash bags. It might not always be the valuable antique desk that the children fight over.

You may want to consider working with a Senior Move Manager to help with the downsizing and relocating process for your loved one. For more information, visit http://www.nasmm.org/.

For a great overview on estate planning, visit http://www.abanet.org/rpte/public/home.html.

SFL followers, can you share any resources for our readers that have been helpful to you?

-Michelle Seitzer

If you follow SeniorsforLiving on Twitter, or read our blog often, you know how much we value the relationships we’ve made on the social networks. Thanks to the people we’re “following” and those that we’re starting to “Fan” or “Friend” on Facebook.com, we’re discovering new sources of important information about senior care and housing, caregiving and home care, boomer issues, and more.

It’s enabled us to form synergies with like-minded companies, organizations, and individuals with whom we share a passion, a commitment, and a dedication. Although we have, at times, recognized our social network colleagues in our blogroll (see “Follow Friday Love” at right), we thought it would be useful to compile some of our favorite senior and boomer bloggers on Twitter in one all-inclusive list that we invite others to add to via the comments section.

We hope you’ll enjoy our new feature, and want to let you know that we will be adding to and enhancing this list in coming weeks.Want to be the first ones to find out when? Follow us on Twitter or Fan us on Facebook if you’re not already doing so.

This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from financial planners to vacation packages. Seniors for Living contributes its properties to Boomerater’s retirement living directory.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members share their experiences about caring for a relative with dementia.

Question:
My father, who lives with us, was just recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. We don’t know how to plan for his care or what we can expect as his condition worsens. We have heard horror stories from friends who have had relatives with this devastating disease. Where do we start?

Reply #1 fromMichelle Seitzer, SFL blogger:
Receiving a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or a related dementia for your loved one can be devastating. The second biggest challenge? Adapting your home to best care for the needs of your loved one overwhelms many caregivers after leaving the doctor’s office.

Here’s the good news: there is a wealth of information and resources out there that are easily accessible. That being said, what you need to remember above all is that flexibility is the key to success. No matter how many books you read or checklists you follow, your loved one’s care needs will change, or his needs might be so unique that you must create alternative solutions other than those suggested. Buying an expensive, high tech gadget to assist your loved one with daily tasks may not always be the best option — in fact, the gadget itself could present more hazard than help. Alzheimer’s does not fit in a box, so any resources you consult may have to be adapted to fit your care recipient’s unique situation.

Caregivers must begin to look at the home in a brand new light. What hazards exist that could be easily removed? What environmental features should be brought in to foster independence while maintaining safety? And, perhaps the most complicated question is, simply, where does one begin?

An understanding of the changes that can affect the person with dementia is helpful to provide a firm foundation. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, there are five key changes that will occur throughout the disease process:

• Judgment: forgetting how to use household appliances, etc.
• Sense of time and place: getting lost on one’s own street; being unable to recognize or find areas in the home
• Behavior: the care recipient will become easily confused, suspicious or fearful
• Physical ability: the person with dementia may have trouble with balance; depending upon a walker or wheelchair to get around
• Senses: changes in vision, hearing, sensitivity to temperatures or depth perception

Clearly, these changes underscore the importance of flexibility. Some persons with dementia may experience all of these changes at once, others may never have a change in behavior, but may have a drastic drop in physical ability. Some may only experience moderate changes in these areas but these changes may occur over a longer period of time. There is no timeline for these transformations, making the challenge of adapting the home all the more difficult.

Before diving in to the seemingly endless stack of literature or ordering a plethora of items from suppliers of creative home aids like The Alzheimer’s Store, caregivers must recognize the crucial need for respite. If the caregiver is not aware of his own needs or pushes those needs aside, both the caregiver and the care recipient will be at risk. Caregiver burnout is often unseen, but it is all too common. It won’t matter how many non-skid rugs are placed or how many door alarms are installed if the caregiver is not able to meet the care recipient’s needs. In many cases, the caregiver may have health needs of her own and could also benefit from a safer, more streamlined environment.

Keep a positive outlook as you adjust your home. Remember, it is still your castle, but making certain adjustments for the care recipient may even make the lives of other household members easier, too. Involve all members of the family in this process. Children, grandchildren, or other inhabitants may offer valuable insights that might otherwise go unnoticed. It will also ensure that when their help is needed (and it certainly will be needed), all household members have been included in the decision-making process and are part of the action plan.

Reply #2:

With the economy the way it is, more families are caring for Alzheimer stricken loved ones at home. With the monthly cost for an Alzheimer facility running $5,000 to $10,000 each month, there often is no other option. Now is the time to develop a plan for his care while he can still participate. Things to consider:

• Financial aspects: Get all his financial and legal documents together, including: his will, medical and durable powers of attorney, deeds, mortgage papers, bank accounts, pension and other retirement documents, life insurance and health insurance policies, social security info, stock and bond certificates and any documentation about his monthly and outstanding bills.
• Resources to tap: Even though the costs can be high, there are several resources you can turn to including Medicare, disability insurance, long-term care insurance, life insurance, Social Security Disability Income, Supplemental Security Income and Medicaid. The Alzheimer’s Association website alz.org discusses these different financial resources, as well as just about everything else you need to know as a caregiver for a patient with Alzheimer’s.
• Tax Deductions: This site also lists a number of deductions caregivers take for medical/nursing care, transportation, home modifications, etc.

Add your comments or find out what others had to say about caring for a relative with Alzheimer’s on Boomerater.com.

I had a related blog post scheduled to go live today (“Pets for Seniors”), but when this video came into my Facebook news feed, I knew instantly that I had to preface it.

Many of us have been touched by our pets so deeply that it’s often indescribable. I’ve had 13 years with my “puppy” Ollie, and as he hobbles along on arthritic legs and suffers from bouts of what I call “doggy dementia,” I make sure I cherish each and every day left with him. The joy he’s brought me and my family — all those who know him, actually — is uncanny, which is why I’m always so fascinated, yet unsurprisingly, with stories of animals graced with therapeutic gifts.

Please enjoy today’s “Pets for Seniors post, along with a nicely written examination of how Pet Therapy Benefits Seniors, but not before meeting Baxter…

We just got two new puppies and we’ve enjoyed them so much. My mother loved animals, but she didn’t have the time (or later the energy) to care for them, though she would loved to have had one. There’s a lot of literature about the physical and psychological benefits of pets companions for the seniors, but the decision about pets and seniors depends on individual circumstances as well as the type of pet.

Some things to consider for older people who are thinking of becoming pet owners are housing, contingency plans, transportation, medications and a good veterinarian.

Be sure to check the rules regarding pets in senior housing communities, and always have a contingency plan for pet care in case the senior owner becomes unable to care for the pet. It’s also important to consider transportation to make trips to the veterinarian, to the store to get pet food, or to the groomer.

Many pets have to take medication, so it’s important to factor in those costs, ability to give a pet medications, and medication safety. A relationship with a good veterinarian is also important. It’s vital that a pet owner understand and be able to manage a pet’s health condition.

The personality and needs of a pet are usually easier to establish when they’re older, so older animals, particularly dogs and cats (usually real, but not always) are often a popular choice for senior pet owners.

Animal shelters are often full of older cats and dogs who would make great companions for seniors, and the Pets for the Elderly Foundation helps pay the fees to participating animal shelters throughout the United States for senior citizens (age 60 and over) who adopt a companion dog or cat from a participating shelter. The Anti-Cruelty Society even matches senior citizen with more mature animals through their Pets for the Elderly adoption program.

Pets and the seniors can give a lot to each other. Research and experience has shown that animals and older people can share full and happy lives. Though pets can’t and shouldn’t replace human relationships for seniors, they can certainly augment them, and they can fill an older person’s life with years of love and companionship.

– Elizabeth Thielke