Joe LaGuardia is chaplain for several retirement homes in Atlanta, Georgia, and author of the blog Caregiver Spirituality.

Becoming a caregiver is one of the most difficult transitions in a person’s life. Often, caregiving occurs when a spouse, child, or parent requires assistance on a daily basis, be it due to illness or special needs. Many people are not prepared to take on the caregiving role, especially since the role is one that is rarely expected. Ultimately, the transition to the role of caregiver inherently means a transition in one’s relationship to the one receiving care.

For instance, if an adult child must care for an aging parent, the child/parent relationship changes. The adult child is forced to do many tasks for the parent that the parent once did for the child. A “role-reversal” ensues. For example, if a husband begins to care for his wife, or vice versa, the relationship shifts from that of mutual care and responsibility to a one-sided burden of care. The caregiver may start to see the care receiver as a “child” for whom to care instead of a husband or wife.

The feeling that many new caregivers experience during this time of transition and role-reversal is that of grief. Grief results from any loss, be it loss due to death or loss as a result from a life-change. Grief comes in different forms: anger, resentment, hostility, depression, change in diet, to name a few. Caregivers feel loss in the relationship because the care receiver can no longer meet certain emotional and physical needs for the caregiver. For instance, in a marriage that turns into a caregiving relationship, there may be a loss of intimacy due to the lack of sexual union between spouses. The care receiver cannot fulfill the physical, emotional, and mental needs of the caregiver through physical acts of love or bonding. There is loss in the relationship, and grief is the natural outcome on the part of the caregiver.

For caregivers of ailing family members, grief is especially pertinent because the caregiver is reminded that the care receiver may be close to death. The loss is one of finality or mortality. Sometimes caregivers grieve the death of a loved one long before the loved one even dies, because the person for whom they care is “no longer the person I knew.” This is especially true when the care receiver has dementia or Alzheimer’s disease and takes on a different personality or temperament.

If you are a caregiver experiencing grief, it is important for you to seek out professional help. A trusted pastor, counselor, or therapist will help you navigate through your own experience of grief. Your goal should be to express your feelings of loss or frustration in a safe and confidential environment and then find avenues of hope and personal fulfillment in the midst of your caregiver responsibilities.

– Joseph LaGuardia

How many young professionals are aware of Alzheimer’s and want to do something about it?  It’s typically not one of the “sexier” causes. But while many 20-somethings are thinking about pursuing an advanced degree, the next stop on the career path, or perhaps getting ready to move out of Mom and Dad’s basement, there are a growing number of young professionals interested in raising awareness of Alzheimer’s disease and related dementias.

One such group is the Alzheimer’s Association’s NYC Chapter Junior Committee whose members are concerned about this  disease affecting their parents, grandparents, or other loved ones — and they are making a difference, New York City style.

The Committee is dedicated to raising awareness of Alzheimer’s and related dementias to individuals in their 20’s and 30’s through events, support, and education to further the efforts of the NYC Chapter. A few members of this cutting-edge group shared their thoughts: how and why they got involved, and how it has benefited them. I’m sure that you will be inspired by their stories, too!

Scott Chabina is the Events Chair, and he was inspired to take action by witnessing his grandfather’s struggle with the disease:

My grandfather, William J. Chabina, suffered from Alzheimer’s disease and passed away when I was still very young.  Unfortunately, the few memories I do have of my grandfather from my childhood are of a very different person than the loving, intelligent, and caring father and husband that the rest of my family had the pleasure of knowing.  Sadly, this realization was lost on me during my childhood and it was not until I grew older that I was able to realize just how large of an impact this disease had on my family.

The fact that I will never have the opportunity to get to know my grandfather as the person he truly was and the impact this disease continues to have on my family inspired me to get involved with the Alzheimer’s Association.  I know that my involvement with the Association is something that would have made my grandfather extremely proud, which inspires me to do anything I can to raise additional funds for Alzheimer’s research and awareness of this terrible disease.

Aimee Adler is a committee member who joined the committee following her grandmother’s recent diagnosis:

I have always been really excited about volunteering and doing charity work within my community.  My grandmother was recently diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s Disease. Not really knowing anything about the disease, I talked to friends and family about it. One friend suggested I join the ALZ NYC JC as she was already a member. My grandmother inspired me my whole life to do good for others. The involvement I have in this group was inspired by her as well.

Meghann McKale is the Junior Committee’s President. She shares her inspiration for leading the cause:

I learned about the Junior Committee when I participated in the Memory Walk in 2002. My roommate at the time worked for Eisai, who had a team, and she invited me because she knew my grandmother had Alzheimer’s. When I saw the group’s table, I knew it would be a great way for me to channel my frustration at not being able to take care of my grandmother, who lived in Rhode Island.

Aimee, Scott, and Meghann have found tremendous value and personal benefit in working for the Committee and partnering with the Alzheimer’s Association:

Scott: The real benefit of being involved with the Junior Committee is that you can have a direct impact on helping those who suffer from Alzheimer’s disease by raising funds for research and community outreach programs that help people who truly need assistance.  Additionally, the Junior Committee focuses specifically on a younger demographic (20 to 40 years old) that, unfortunately, will ultimately become affected by this disease in some capacity or another. It has been absolutely shocking to me to see how this disease has affected so many people my age and how it has similarly affected their relationships with family members and loved ones.

Aimee: While discussing potential ways to raise money for research and programs dedicated to helping people with the disease is an amazing benefit in of itself, the group has taught me more about Alzheimer’s and has inspired me to really become more involved by volunteering to speak about the disease to groups, help out with events, get more people involved and build awareness.

Meghann: One of the hardest things about dealing with a family member having Alzheimer’s disease is the feeling of helplessness. Being proactive is one of the few things that really combats that feeling. Plus, there’s the added benefit of working with like-minded people, who share the same passion for the cause and who have been through the same difficulties.

Serving on the Committee has also been instrumental in helping both Scott, Aimee, and Meghann cope with the impact of Alzheimer’s on their families. They explain:

Scott: In working with the Junior Committee, I have been able to see that other people my age have had similar strains on their families and have lost loved ones to this tragic disease.  As I learned more about Alzheimer’s disease I came to understand just how difficult it must have been for my grandmother, Margaret Chabina, to go through this disease with her husband.  When she called me to tell me how proud she was I was involved with the Association and how important it was to her, I knew that I was doing something important and that hopefully, there would be something positive to come from my experience with Alzheimer’s disease.

Aimee: Being involved with the Junior Committee (Since October 2008) has really opened my eyes to the disease and helped me learn how to cope with a family member who has Alzheimer’s. By meeting once a month with other people my age (ages 20- 30), the group has also taught me how to react to family members or to help my grandmother get through this.  I now talk to friends about it and learned that some of them have lost family members to this disease.  Joining this committee has also sparked conversations within my family and has opened communication pathways to talk about how we can help together as a family!

Meghann: Working with the Junior Committee has allowed me to feel that I’m making an impact. Though I lost my grandmother to the disease in May 2007, I have to believe that my small contribution may make a difference in whether or not it happens to future generations – not just of my family but everyone. Knowing that there are other young people who are actively working towards the Alzheimer’s Association’s vision of a world without Alzheimer’s is quite inspiring. While I often find myself alone among my peers when it comes to my passion for working with people affected by Alzheimer’s, I know that a striking number of people in all age groups are touched by this disease – and I would venture to say that all of those people are passionate about finding a cure.

*  *  *

Scott, Aimee, and Meghann are hard at work planning for the 7th Annual Collective Consciousness Benefit, coming up on Thursday, May 7, from 8-11 p.m., which will take place at the trendy, celebrity hotspot Tenjune in Manhattan, NY.  Funds raised will go directly to Alzheimer research and to support programs and services offered by the New York City Chapter.  Elizabeth Hasselback from ABC’s “The View” has been named Honorary Chair, and DJ Berrie will provide music that is sure to keep guests on the dance floor.  A silent auction featuring a variety of high-end items from a number of top-name retailers, jewelers, restaurants, and hotels is sure to attract many bidders.

To purchase tickets for the Collective Consciousness Benefit, or to purchase a bouquet for the event in honor of a loved one, visit http://www.alznycjc.org/. The site will also connect you to other events sponsored by the Junior Committee and more information about the group’s efforts (including details on monthly meetings).

So why not be proactive?  Educate yourself on the basics and let friends and family know about the resources available. Attend an event like the Collective Consciousness Benefit or the annual Memory Walk in your part of the world. And join with the members of the Alzheimer’s Association in realizing their vision: a world without Alzheimer’s. We may not see that world in our lifetime, but future generations will thank you. Act now!

- Michelle Seitzer

Though I’m not sure who came up with the name “Blog Carnival,” it sure does bring a smile to my face. When you get to reminiscing about your childhood, it’s fun to think back fondly on carnival escapades — the smells, the sounds, the most-fun-you-could-pack-onto-a-field feeling! So in a way, it’s fitting to refer to a compilation of the best-of-the-best blogs as a “carnival.” And this week’s Boomers & Seniors: News You Can Use blog carnival is no exception.

Hosted at Ageless-Sages.com, the March 24th edition of Boomers & Seniors: News You Can Use combines recent blog posts about senior living, boomer trends, health & fitness, financial news, and more.

Head there now… and don’t forget the popcorn!

–Gina LaGuardia, @Seniors4Living

Most of us have heard the slogan, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” But in the case of this post, I will share something that happened in Vegas on January 10th. The 2009 International Consumer Electronics Show, which has been running for 41 years, held its first daylong exhibition and conference wholly devoted to aging and technology.

Aptly titled “Silvers Summit,” this unique show highlighted the latest gadgets, games, medical technology and media “that keep ‘silvers’ engaged, entertained, connected and healthy.” Not only is it a worthy objective, it is certainly a blossoming field considering the rapid graying of our population.

An article by Silver Planet outlined a handful of new products featured at the exposition, ranging from a senior-friendly cell phone to a home monitoring system called GrandCare. A number of products tailored for seniors’ ease of use were also presented, among them, laptop computers with single latches that can be easily opened with one handl desktop displays on dual hinges, thus allowing the senior with multifocal lenses to lower the screen to his comfort level; and an FM-radio that removes commercials and deejay babble (which undoubtedly appeals to people of all ages!).

Besides providing an opportunity to show off these cutting-edge products, the Summit included conference sessions on “…lifestyle and dynamics of senior consumers, the growing brain fitness market, innovations in wireless bandages and pills, ways to effectively monitor elderly relatives, and trends in personal health care information.”

I’d love to attend one of these shows. Although I don’t consider myself a gadget fanatic by any means — I only recently acquired an iPod and I refuse to buy a Blackberry — I do recognize that some of these new products are quite useful and can benefit the older consumer who is trying to stay active and independent in today’s fast-paced, media and technology-driven world. I admire those seniors who keep in touch with their grandkids on Facebook or have a cell-phone that meets their needs, even if it’s just a basic, no-frills model like the one highlighted in Silver Planet’s article.

During my senior living days, I always made sure that the monthly entertainment calendar included activities that would help seniors keep up with their techno-savvy grandkids. I taught classes on computers and cell phones and became the unofficial “Geek Squad” for the building, making visits to resident’s rooms to do anything from adjusting the magnification on a monitor to fixing a printer jam. Many times, these visits and classes were extremely challenging (I had “students” of all levels of expertise and with varying degrees of vision & hearing impairments), but seeing the look on a resident’s face after sending and receiving her first e-mail message made it all worthwhile.

What’s your favorite gadget? What piece of technology was the most challenging for you to master? Share your thoughts here!

- Michelle Seitzer

Next to a children’s park in Manchester, England, you’ll find a different kind of playground: a playground for seniors. The Older People’s Play Area is outfitted with equipment to provide fun, gentle exercise that serves to “strengthen hips, tone legs and train the upper body.” For example, The Massage offers upper body exercise, the Skate trains leg muscles, the Ski works the hips, and the Press tones the stomach and legs. Some of the stations are also wheelchair accessible.

According to the article, local seniors are having fun and learning that exercise doesn’t have to be boring — and even a little regular exercise can make a difference.

However, research has shown that seniors are avoiding the playgrounds because they find it embarrassing to exercise in front of younger people:

• The researchers looked at six senior citizen playgrounds in Germany and surveyed 180 elderly people in Frankfurt. One third of respondents said they liked to exercise.
• Half of them said they could imagine occasionally using the playgrounds – but when children were not present.
• In places where the elderly feel their privacy is being respected, the researchers discovered that exercise machines are being used regularly.

As with most situations, it’s difficult to meet everyone’s needs at the same time. But the senior playgrounds look like a lot of fun to me, though I think it’s important to provide a variety of exercise opportunities that are accessible and affordable, two important factors in keeping seniors active.

– Elizabeth Thielke

It’s not the easiest topic to think about, but it’s one that cannot be avoided. Elder abuse is becoming all too common, and sadly, I’m sure that the cases we hear about are just the tip of the iceberg.

On March 11^th In Huntington Beach, CA, the live-in caretaker of an 84-year-old woman was charged with financial elder abuse, grand theft, identity theft, vehicle theft, fraud and forgery. At a nursing facility in Pittsburgh, PA, a direct care worker was recently fined for hitting and verbally abusing a patient with dementia over an extended period of time. Three out of five cases of elder abuse occur in a senior’s own home at the hands of family members, according to data from the National Association of Adult Protective Services Administrators. It is truly frightening to think about the scores of elders who are being abused every day, whether it’s physical, verbal, emotional, financial, sexual –- or all of the above.

Caregiver stress may lead to abuse. As solidified by the statistic above, it is not always a hardened criminal who preys on a vulnerable elder. Sometimes the stress of caregiving can lead to abusive situations, in which case both the victim and the abuser are in need of help.

Neglect is another form of abuse that happens quite often among seniors. In long-term care facilities, high turnover rates and staffing shortages (coupled with the lack of training, support, and resources) create the perfect storm for neglect or other types of abuse to occur.

Financial exploitation also runs rampant in these care settings. I have lost count of how many times I heard about residents missing money during my years of work in senior living facilities. In one community, dozens of residents lost thousands in a string of incidents; it took over a year to “catch” all of the employees involved.

Alzheimer’s and other types of dementias could cause the individual suffering from the disease to become abusive to a spouse, other family members, or a professional caregiver. These unique cases require specialized education, sensitivity, and hands-on crisis intervention skills.

Awareness is important, even if you’re not a caregiver for an elder. Know the warning signs. Identify who to call if you suspect abuse. Familiarize yourself with the state and local resources available to support at-risk elders. If you have an elderly neighbor who lives alone or has home care, check on him now and then. Even if your neighbor has a family member living at home, remember that statistic about family abuse and keep an eye out.

For more information, visit:

NCEA (National Center on Elder Abuse)

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/elder_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/elderabuse.html

- Michelle Seitzer

An innovative housing project proposed for Milwaukee’s North Side will help grandparents who are caring for their grandchildren. With a price tag of $10 million, Villard Square would not be the first of its kind in this newest senior housing trend, following major metropolitan areas such as New York, Chicago and Boston. Chris Laurent of Gorman & Co. development firm states the project’s goal: placing children from broken homes into a stable environment.

Many of these children have been entrusted to their grandparent’s care because their parents are either in prison, battling drug addiction, or have other problems. According to the 2000 Census, approximately 7,052 Milwaukee grandparents found themselves in this challenging role. With these challenges in mind, developers are building in a number of on-site supportive services, such as parental counseling, to Villard Square.

New York City opened GrandParent Family Apartments in 2005, where 94 children (ranging from ages two to twenty) live with their 60-80 year-old grandparents. Older residents of this complex enjoy senior-friendly features like wide hallways and emergency pull-cords in their rooms, and on-site tutoring services and a playroom appeal to the children. Social workers are also available to work with the children and their grandparents, fostering better communication and supporting the entire family in this new arrangement.

The city of Milwaukee and others who have already developed projects such as these should be commended for their vision and their desire to meet a growing need in today’s society. While living in an apartment complex with hundreds of children in need of tutoring or social work interventions may not sound like the retirement of your dreams, it is nonetheless a harsh reality facing many seniors today. In my home state of Pennsylvania, several state lawmakers have sponsored legislation for a number of programs to assist these second-generation parents, who have many needs of their own and yet must attend to the needs of their children’s children.

I suspect that Villard Square and GrandParent Family Apartments may become the norm in the next decade, and I hope that other cities and towns will be sensitive to these new family arrangements and offer whatever support they can.

What are your thoughts about projects like Villard Square? Do you know someone who is raising their grandchildren? What kind of support do you feel that government or community organizations can and should provide? Share your comments here!

- Michelle Seitzer

I enjoy stories about people doing things that people tell them they are too old do. My co-worker’s 92 year old father is a CPA and drives to work each day as he always has, and even my own father had major back surgery at 74 and was back at his high school teaching job in less than 3 weeks.

So, I love this story about Ken Mink. Mink is 73 years old and a member of the Roane State Junior College basketball team:

JACKSON, Tenn. — Before Sunday’s basketball game, Coach Yogi Woods gathered the junior varsity at Lambuth University. Watch out for 73 on the other team, he said. He did not mean the player’s number. He meant his age.

The visitors, Roane State Community College, had a septuagenarian guard, Ken Mink, college basketball’s oldest player, who has started a second career after his first ended a half century ago with a mysterious shaving-cream incident.

Watch him in action…

He’s a crowd favorite and has scored five points this season. Unfortunately, he’s run into some eligibility problems because of a dropped class and it looks like basketball may be over for him, but what an example for setting out to do something that most people said couldn’t be done.

Some Relief for Social Security Beneficiaries

The passage of the economic recovery bill means just a little bit of cash ($250 for individuals, $500 for couples who receive Social Security benefits) will go to seniors in May.  According to a recently published AARP Bulletin, the “so-called senior payment” does not require any additional paperwork; beneficiaries will receive the money in the same way they get Social Security (direct deposit or mailed check).

This payment was not included in the House’s version of the bill but was championed in the Senate by Max Baucus (D-Montana, chairman of the Senate Finance Committee) and Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI).  AARP supported this provision in the legislation, citing research “showing that older people tend to spend such payments immediately.”

Visit the Social Security Administration website for more information.

Highlights of the Stimulus bill for older Americans, as per the National Council on Aging:

The act includes:

· $100 million for senior nutrition programs;

· $120 million for the Senior Community Service Employment Program (SCSEP);

· $87 billion to increase the federal Medicaid match to states (a 6.2 percent increase from Oct. 1, 2008 through Dec. 31, 2010);

· a one-time payment of $250 to Social Security, Supplemental Security Income (SSI) and certain veterans by the end of May; and

· the package also extends the Medicare Savings Program Qualified Individual (QI-pays Part B premiums for eligible beneficiaries) program through Dec. 31, 2010.

Elderly at Risk?

The rebate check and the boost in program funding is not enough to outweigh the other provisions in the stimulus package that may hurt vulnerable seniors, according to an opinion piece by Betsy McCaughey.

Her piece outlines the “hidden” health provisions in the legislation that could mean many seniors will not get the help they need.  For example:

“Medicare now pays for treatments deemed safe and effective. The stimulus bill would change that and apply a cost-effectiveness standard set by the Federal Council (464).

The Federal Council is modeled after a U.K. board discussed in Daschle’s book. This board approves or rejects treatments using a formula that divides the cost of the treatment by the number of years the patient is likely to benefit. Treatments for younger patients are more often approved than treatments for diseases that affect the elderly, such as osteoporosis.

In 2006, a U.K. health board decreed that elderly patients with macular degeneration had to wait until they went blind in one eye before they could get a costly new drug to save the other eye. It took almost three years of public protests before the board reversed its decision.”

McCaughey, a former Lieutenant Governor of New York and an adjunct senior fellow at the Hudson Institute, asserts that there was not enough scrutiny of the legislation before final passage, stating the stimulus is “dangerous to your health and the economy” and “the elderly will bear the brunt”.

While I understand that this is an opinion piece, I am concerned for the possible implications these system changes could bring, particularly to vulnerable seniors. We’ve all heard the sound bytes in the news this past week – we know there are a wide range of opinions on the bill and whether it will help or hurt the struggling economy and the American people. I imagine the 1000+ page document, formally called the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009, is full of items that probably needed further scrutiny. In my opinion, seniors are already marginalized in our society, so I am curious to see what the outcome of these provisions will be. I hope for the best, but in the meantime, I hope that senior-focused advocacy and service organizations will be prepared to carry the load in times of need.

What’s your read on the stimulus package as it pertains to seniors?  Share your thoughts here.

- Michelle Seitzer