This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from advice on financial planning to anniversary vacations. Seniors for Living contributes its properties to Boomerater’s Alzheimer’s Care directory.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members discuss the responsibilities of being the executor of an estate.

Question: My parents have asked me to be the executor of their estate.  I’m honored that they trust me with this, but I don’t know what’s involved.  I don’t think their estate is very complicated, but I have no idea how much time or effort it could take. Any advice? By the way, I visit them often but do not live near them.

Reply #1: I can offer some insight from my own experience as executor of my parents’ estate…

1. Get duplicate copies of death certificates – you’ll need them to close accounts.
2. Know where everything is kept, not just where they bank, but where the keys for the safe deposit box are, etc. My parents had a weird “secret hiding place” where they kept my grandmother’s jewelry – fortunately I knew about that, but I never could find the keys to the car.
3. All costs have to be paid before you can settle the estate. This includes rent or mortgage, credit cards, property taxes, medical bills, etc.

Reply #2: Early responsibilities of the executor include identifying the assets and liabilities.  This in itself can be complicated.  Costs associated with an illness, tax issues and any business relationship the decedent had all have to be taken into account.  To handle the legal, financial and tax issues I suggest you find competent financial advisors with experience in each of the areas.  A good executor works with the advisors to oversee the process and makes the final decisions.

Reply #3: The best situation is when the decedent has made his/her wishes known and documented… who gets what, where all the documents are, etc.  My aunt and uncle, who never had children, willed some personal items to individuals, then divided the rest of the estate into “lots.” Each heir (mostly nieces and nephews) drew one lot and received all of the items associated with that lot.  The lots were of similar value, so everyone was treated equally. The more effort your parents put into organizing their estate and documenting their wishes, the easier your job as executor will be.

Find out what others had to say about being the executor of an estate on Boomerater.com.

If there is anything that really makes my blood boil, stories of elders being mistreated does just that. Physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, neglect – the anecdotes I’ve heard (and the millions of cases that probably remain unreported and unresolved) are deeply disturbing to me. Even talking down to elders (and studies have shown that even those with cognitive impairments are highly averse to “elderspeak”), in my opinion, is completely unacceptable.

Besides these extreme cases, there are a number of perhaps subtle ways that seniors get dismissed by an age-biased society like ours. In fact, Steve Gurney of the ProAging network recently posted a UPI report out of Washington indicating that complaints of age bias have been on the rise, due to the tough economy and our ever-increasing reliance on technology. In Michigan, the Department of Civil Rights received 1,245 complaints of age discrimination, representing a 77% increase over the number received in 2008 (a mere though inexcusable 703). The federally-backed Equal Employment Opportunity Commission saw a 36% increase from 2005 to 2008.

The bottom line?  It’s all about getting the job done quickly, efficiently, and at the lowest cost, says attorney Steve Fishman. Fishman represents companies in age-discrimination cases. Essentially, your years of experience and loyalty to the company just don’t count if it costs the company too much.

I’m sure there are companies out there who still value their savvy senior employees, and wherever you are, I applaud you. But we all know that the market has wreaked havoc on small businesses, large businesses, 401Ks, retirement plans, health care benefits and, unfortunately, the career paths of those expensive FTEs who have given years of blood, sweat and tears to the company.

Desperate times call for desperate measures – some may say in defense – but I believe that today’s business leaders must consider those who have built the companies they represent. Perhaps you need to make difficult decisions given the state of the economy, but consider all the options. Explore ways of keeping that valuable employee engaged, rather than simply striking them out on account of their age (see post on the 100-year-old still practicing physician for evidence that there is no ideal retirement age). A 60th birthday does not equal an expiration date.

Seniors are far too often taken for granted, in the workplace, in our families, in our communities, in our places of worship, in nursing homes and senior living communities – and if you ask me, it’s absolutely a crime! With all that they have to offer in the way of life experience, their stories must be heard, their contributions to society must be celebrated, their value must be affirmed, their courage and fortitude in what were far more difficult times than many of us have known. We cannot afford to neglect this priceless population — not now, not ever.

SFL followers, how do you honor the seniors in your life? Don’t miss out!

-Michelle Seitzer

It’s a given that baby boomers are facing an uncertain future in terms of retirement. Thanks to the recent ups and downs in the market (with seemingly more downs), plans for retirement among baby boomers have likely changed accordingly; perhaps some are still figuring out just what that Plan B, C, or D looks like. Given this climate, some may consider the recent study in the October issue of the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology to be comforting news, for others, it may be just another twist of the knife.

Here’s the recap: Study authors Yujie Zhan, Mo Wang, and Songqi Liu from the University of Maryland, along with Kenneth S. Shultz from California State University, San Bernardino, used a nationally representative sample of 12,189 retirees (participants range in age from 51 to 61) from the first four waves of the Health and Retirement Study. Entitled “Bridge Employment and Retirees’ Health: A Longitudinal Investigation,” the study purports that full retirement may be bad for your physical and mental health. That’s right, folks. According to the study, seniors who continue to work in the same field in some capacity post-retirement fare better physically and mentally than those who quit cold turkey.

By definition, bridge employment is “the pattern of labor force participation exhibited by older workers as they leave their career jobs and move toward complete labor force withdrawal (Shultz, 2003). It could be a part-time job, self-employment, or temporary employment after full-time employment ends and before permanent retirement begins (Feldman, 1994).”

I have heard numerous accounts of retirees doing the bridge employment thing – retirees who pick up part-time work for financial reasons, or because they can only spend so much time with the grandchildren (wink, wink), or maybe because they just need some structure in their day. Others are interested in that third career – they’ve always wanted to drive a tour bus but never could do it as the family breadwinner.

So, for those prospective retirees who seek work in a different field, the health benefits still outweigh the risks of working longer – but your mental health will be better if you stay in the same field. As per the summary of findings, “Hierarchical regression analyses showed that compared with full retirement, engaging in bridge employment either in a career field or in a different field was associated with fewer major diseases and functional limitations, whereas engaging in career bridge employment was associated with better mental health.”

Study co-author Kenneth Shultz encourages employers to review this study and perhaps take a fresh look at the skills and experience offered by the older, wiser worker. If there are part-time jobs to fill, perhaps a retiree seeking bridge employment is a better fit than the college student juggling three jobs and 13 credits. Shultz also admonishes employers who are sweating out the labor shortage to offer bridge employment options for retirees before sending them out with a cake and a gold watch.

SFL followers, what are your thoughts about this study?  What are your bridge or career bridge employment stories?  Share them here!

-Michelle Seitzer

When my mother was recovering from an illness, she had to spend some time in a nursing home to regain her strength. It was a rather sudden decision on her doctor’s part, and I had only a few hours to find one.

I saw her have to wait for assistance with most everything, be served soft and bland foods, and generally have to be away from family and home. We take such things as a daily shower or walking around our homes for granted, but there you have to navigate a crowded hallway in a wheelchair, and you get a shower only on certain days of the week.

She ended up staying 4 weeks, and I learned a lot while she was there. Sure, I had been to visit people at various times, but even as a nurse, I had never spent a significant amount of time at a nursing home until then, and really had no idea what it was really like.

Can health care providers really understand what their patients live with each day in a nursing home?

Earlier this year, Kristen Murphy, an able-bodied 38 year old medical student chose to live in a nursing home for 10 days as part of a geriatric specialty training program:

Ms. Murphy, a medical student at the University of New England in Biddeford, Me., who is interested in geriatric medicine, came to New York for a novel program that allowed her to experience life as a nursing home patient.

Students are given a “diagnosis” of an ailment and expected to live as someone with the condition does. They keep a daily journal chronicling their experiences and, in most cases, debunking their preconceived notions.

While this type of role playing isn’t truly authentic, most people know nothing about life in a nursing home. It’s commendable that these students want to try to empathize with and learn more about their patients in a specialty that’s already short of physicians. Doing so will no doubt make them better medical care providers someday.

I’m going to play Roger Ebert for a moment here: before the summer’s end, I highly recommend adding Gran Torino to your Netflix queue and visiting your local video store to rent or buy Up on November 10th. Both are unique, poignant stories woven with intense themes, meaningful symbolism and powerful lessons about the human spirit. Creative and well-told, the two films feature brilliant characters in their golden years – which almost always guarantees a spot on Michelle Seitzer’s DVD library shelves.

You are likely to need Kleenex (and perhaps a large box of M&Ms or whatever your typical movie comfort food may be) for both films; however, what I love so much about these pieces is how realistic the portrayals of their aging protagonists are. Sure, a movie’s a movie and there will be the occasional “suspension of disbelief” at times throughout the two films, but overall, the lives of two elderly men are presented with little to no sugar coating (hence the need for hankies and chocolate).

Despite the bittersweet and at times downright depressing tones, the audience must take away this one very important lesson underscoring both films: being old and alone doesn’t render you immediately incompetent.

Another important theme: rituals & routines, traditions & tendencies are extremely vital in elder’s lives. As they experience the significant personal and physical losses associated with aging and the dizzying pace of “progress,” daily habits and preferences (i.e. reading the paper, getting a hot shave at the barber shop, weeding the garden) are often the means by which elders feel that they are maintaining independence and dignity in a world that is changing in ways they cannot control. This tension is explored on many levels, and with great sensitivity and honesty, in Gran Torino and Up.

Finally (although there is so much that can be said), the films also share a beautiful portrayal of the many mutual benefits of intergenerational relationships, transmitting some much-needed light and humor to the screen.

I applaud the movies’ creators for sharing the Walt Kowalskis and Carl Fredericksens of the world with us, and I hope that audiences across the world will become more sensitive to their existence.

Still not convinced?  Check out the trailers:

Gran Torino Trailer on You Tube

Up Trailer on You Tube

If you’ve seen the films, share your commentary here!

-Michelle Seitzer

This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from wealth planners to romantic getaways. Seniors for Living contributes its properties to Boomerater’s assisted living directory.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members share their advice about adding a stair lift.

Question: My mother is coming to live with us, but the only bedroom we have for her is on the second floor of our two-floor home. We are considering adding a stair lift. Any words of advice?

Reply #1: Installing a stair lift was a big help for us. When my father came to live with us, we actually thought about adding a first-floor bedroom to the house. When we learned how expensive that option would be we looked into adding a stair lift. We decided on the Harmar Pinnacle. It was a great decision. Dad had no trouble operating it, and it took up less space in the stairway than we had anticipated.

Reply #2: Hire a CAPS-certified contractor to review your home for accessibility; they have great ideas and can look at your home with a critical eye for safety. You may need to modify doorways for a wheelchair for the future, and a main floor bathroom. The most important thing to remember when modifying for a lift is that you need a good fire escape route. If the power is out, how will you get your mother safely out the door? You can have the house wiring modified to have an always-on generator that backs up your primary system.

These are things that your CAPS certified contractor is trained to review your home for. Every home is different, and that’s their specialty — making homes safe and prepared for people to age in place adapting homes to the changing needs of family members utilizing principals of universal design.

Reply #3: I would advise also thinking about preparing an accessible bathroom and a zero step entrance into the home, because it sounds like she’s declining and she could use the extra attention to safety!

Add your own comments or find out what others had to say about adding a stair lift on Boomerater.com.

I stumbled upon an absolutely fascinating study while browsing the latest ProAging e-newsletter. It’s called the Sleepover Project. Architects and designers from the Baltimore-based firm CSD (Cochran, Stephenson & Donkervoet) launched the project in March of this year. Here’s the project’s purpose from the CSD website:

“With the long-term goal of providing better design and building more responsive communities, CSD is sending each member of its senior living architectural design team to stay overnight in a senior living community. Between March and September 2009, as many as 36 ‘Sleepers’ will be assigned to a diverse range of communities – both geographically and demographically – from Boston to Los Angeles, Seattle to Miami; in urban, suburban and rural locations; and with accommodations ranging from modest to high-end.”

In addition to receiving their facility assignment, “sleepers” are given an identity and must assess and evaluate the environment as such. For example, one sleeper, a 32-year-old landscape architect, was asked to take on the role of an 81-year-old woman recovering from gall-bladder surgery at a rehab facility in Baltimore. The sleeper was asked to use a wheelchair during her stay and eventually transition to walking again before leaving the facility.

OK, I’m almost 31, so I can imagine that it would not be easy to maneuver myself through my daily tasks from a wheelchair (especially at the pace I move most days), much less if I was pretending to be an 81-year-old recovering from surgery. But what extraordinary insights this architect must have gained!  And how much better informed will senior living design teams be, having received this valuable data?  Here’s a highlight from Sleeper #2’s blog entry:

“While shuffling around, and even at a stand still, the simplest daily motions posed the greatest challenges from the seat of the wheelchair. While reaching for items normally at shoulder or head height, Sleeper #2 found herself at a complete loss. Without a stick to knock things off shelves and desks, there was no way to be self-sufficient in grabbing items stored 4’ off the ground or higher.”

Given Sleeper #2’s real-life role as a landscape architect, I found her assessment to be very interesting in terms of how she looked at the view from the window. Think about how many senior living residents sit in front of a window, either in their private unit or a common sitting room. If you’ve ever worked in or visited someone at a senior living community, you know that this is a familiar scene. She offers some great ideas around “opening up the view and extending the life of outdoor spaces” in the piece.

The Sleepover Project is definitely worth checking out, whether or not you’re interested in design. Perhaps you are considering a facility for a loved one. Think about how different the environment of a senior living community really is in comparison with your loved one’s home (and we wonder why often our senior family member resists the idea of moving in?).

Tour the facility with that in mind – it’s so easy to get wrapped up in what the place smells like or how lavishly it’s decorated or how many friendly smiling faces greet you at the door. Those things are all very important, but you must also consider the loved ones who have to live there after being comfortable in their own home for 50 years or more. Think about it from their point of view, and if you need some help putting yourself in their shoes, read a few entries from The Sleepover Project.

Seniors for Living has also done a few blog posts about the importance of senior-friendly design – check them out at: Aging in Place Designer Style and Design Makes a Difference in Today’s Senior Living Homes.

-Michelle Seitzer

Welcome to the October 27, 2009 edition of Boomers and Seniors: News You Can Use. This installment focuses on transition, memories, and meaning… and the more, the merrier. After all, there’s nothing like having a strong support network when you’re going through a major life transition. That’s why we’re so glad to honor the Top Boomer & Senior Bloggers on Twitter. Each Twitter personality on the list has something to offer anyone needing advice, real stories, or facts about boomer and senior issues. Like this blog carnival, it’s a great way to connect with those in-the-know.

Senior Care/Caregiving

Currently, 5 million U.S. citizens have Alzheimer’s disease or related dementia, and an unfortunate outcome of the disease is that a person may wander away, explains Jaclyn from ALFA Re:source. “Earlier this year Congressman Lloyd Doggett from Texas introduced the Silver Alert bill – it passed the House but not the Senate. Doggett’s Silver Alert bill is similar to the effective Amber Alert for missing children. If Doggett’s bill were to become law, states would have a mechanism for alerting all of us about a missing individual with dementia. ALFA is a strong supporter of this bill. Are you?” Read more about it at Needed Now: Silver Alert Support.

New research about dementia has resulted in the reclassification of the disease, and both the public and the medical community are startled. In a recent blog post “Redefining Dementia as a Terminal Illness,” Dale Carter demonstrates how deeply this impacts the choices we make for our loved ones with advanced dementia. For more valuable caregiver-related information, read her blog Transition Aging Parents.

Our SFL post, The Stuff of Life: Sorting Through Your Loved One’s Belongings, got a lot of interest this past month. It’s a topic to which many can relate. However, the decision to let dg of one’s materials isn’t just an issue that affects seniors. According to Opted Magazine, our life stages greatly affect our dependence on possessions.

December is generally when people say thanks to health care providers with a small token or gift. And while those gifts are appreciated, Viki Kind has an even better idea. See what it is at the KindEthics.com blog, in her post Celebrate the Holidays Today.

The World of Work

Have you been one of the stock market’s recent job loss victims? If so, it’s time to get back on the hunt. Start with SeniorsforLiving’s 10 Part-Time Jobs For Fixed-Income Retirees.

Along those lines, Super Saver presents its picks for part-time work. Check out Looking for Great Part Time Retiree Jobs at My Wealth Builder for even more ideas.

And if it’s meaningful work you’re seeking, click into In Search of Senior Employees posted at ALFA Re:source to find out more about ReServe. This New York City-based organization serves local communities by matching area seniors and baby boomers with programs that serve youth, seniors, and other members of the community in need of help.

Lisa O’Neill gets us thinking about whether there is a glass ceiling in existence in care sector? at Whereforcare.com. Even if you don’t work in the industry, the points she raises is sure conjure up some interesting debate.

Boomer Issues

When the work day is done, it’s time to look for fun ways to enjoy the season. Enter Kaye Swain and her post, Time for Autumn Magic for the Sandwich Generation posted at SandwichINK.com. “Read up for some Autumn Fun for the Sandwich Generation,” says Swain, “and don’t forget the time change coming soon!”

Here’s something new not only for the kids (they probably already have it mastered!), but for the older ones in our lives: Skype. In her post, 10 Ways Seniors Can Use Skype posted at Bright Insights, Erin Schmidt targets all of you who are wondering what all the Skype hype is about? “It’s actually a great way to keep seniors and the disabled connected with family and friends.”

The health care reform buzz may be front and center in the news these days, but with so many media outlets and so many opinions, it’s not easy to keep up. And yet it is most certainly an issue that many of us are watching with great concern and curiosity.

A number of senior advocacy organizations are offering valuable resources for the general public to stay current on the latest and greatest, specifically in terms of the impact on seniors. I’ve listed a few of them here:

- The Senate Special Committee on Aging held a briefing on “How Health Reform will impact seniors” on September 17, 2009.  To view the archived webcast of the hearing, visit http://aging.senate.gov/.

- If you’re like me, you want to see things on paper (or read it on a computer screen). To see a comprehensive, side-by-side comparison of major health care reform proposals, check out this excellent tool from the policy experts at the Kaiser Family Foundation (KFF): http://www.kff.org/healthreform/sidebyside.cfm.

- Another great side-by-side comparison from KFF takes a specific look at key Medicare provisions in the health reform proposals. To view the tool, go to http://www.kff.org/healthreform/upload/7948.pdf.

- AAHSA (American Association of Homes and Services for the Aging) explores a number of topics relating to seniors and health reform on their advocacy page – including an overview of the CLASS Act/Affordable Health Choices Act legislation: http://www.aahsa.org/classact.aspx

- You can also visit AARP’s home page to “Get the Facts on Health Reform” (go to http://www.aarp.org/health/articles/health_reform_get_the_facts.html) or to read a feature article on the impact of changes to Medicare at http://bulletin.aarp.org/yourhealth/medicare/articles/medicare_question.html.

- Most likely, your Member of Congress or U.S. Senator has a number of links or articles on their home page, outlining their position on and understanding of the reform debate. Many legislators have and continue to host Town Hall meetings to garner input and feedback from their constituents; some have been met with great success while others have encountered some heated opinions that have certainly made the news. Visit http://www.house.gov and http://www.senate.gov/ to find your elected official’s home page. Visit http://www.thomas.gov/ to access the actual legislation (you can do a keyword search, or get the bill numbers from the KFF’s report above).

Proposals are just that – so they are liable to change as the debate goes on. But for now, you can get up to speed by accessing a few of the above resources.

- Michelle Seitzer

This guest blog post is contributed by Boomerater, a free online resource for Baby Boomers helping you find everything from investment advisors to vacation packages. Seniors for Living contributes its properties to Boomerater’s independent living directory.

A new Q&A discussion from Boomerater’s forums appears here each Friday. In this week’s post, members share their experiences about trading or selling gift cards, paying for grandchildren’s college, and selling a time share.

Question #1: I want to sell my time share in Florida, but am afraid I won’t make my money back. What is the best way to sell a time share?

Answer #1:
You’ll probably only get about half of what you paid. But if you used it for several vacations, you can look at the time you spent there as time you would have paid to stay at resort hotels. You might have luck selling it through the Time Share Users’ Group website.

Question #2: While I love receiving gift cards to purchase items I want or need, each year I receive cards for stores I don’t patronize.  Does anyone know of an outlet for trading gift cards with others who find themselves in the same situation?

Answer:
You can sell or trade your gift cards on http://www.plasticjungle.com . You can sell cards at http://www.giftcardsagain.com and at http://www.giftah.com. Also, you can trade gift items, video games, books and textbooks, gift cards, electronics, etc. at http://www.caretotrade.com.

Question #3: I’ve heard there are some expenses you can pay directly for a family member without being subject to paying a gift tax. I am especially interested in tuition for my children and medical expenses for my parents.

Answer:
You can pay for college tuition as long as you pay the bills directly to the college and medical bills paid to the doctor or hospital are also OK.  Some expenses are not allowed. For example, if you pay for your grandson’s music lessons or help pay to have an addition built on your daughter’s home, the amount you contribute will be subject to the gift tax.

Add your own comments, or find out what others have to say at Boomerater.com.